So I was on a list with some other workers to go through CPR training. Well I took off around 930ish and headed to Pittsfield. Well when I got there; there was no parking. I had a severe panic attack. I was there for 10 but I didn't find a spot. I was crying and hyperventilating.... I banged on the steering wheel...i headed back home. I kept crying ( Read more... )

Tomorrow it's back to work don't know much more to say about it but I dread going to work now. I just don't want to go in I hate it I hate the people I work with except for a few people

My anxiety is going through the roof just thinking about what this work week brings where I'm going to be stuck because I'm not allowed to lift anything over 10 ( Read more... )

It is okay to not be okay all the time. Everyone has that crappy day. Everyone has the right to just feel off. I have those days more often. Who doesn't? You decide how you feel. This is your life, your decision. You decide how you live your life. Most days I don't feel like myself and my face says it all. I just want everyone to know it is okay? ( Read more... )

So I had a dream about my coworker. Very odd. In a huge house and he was staying over. And we'll we kept trying to get intimate. He was upset when we couldn't. He was crying. This only bits and pieces of what I can remember.

I think I'm in love again. I met an amazing guy. He is a customer that comes in my store alot. We were matched on a couple dating sites. I found his Facebook. I hit the follow button and like and hour or more later he added me. That was in August. Well just recently I started messaging him. He's amazing. He's a widower. Has 3 kids. I went over his ( Read more... )

So I had a dream I was on vacation with a guy. And it was a time share kind if thing. Well I was at a super market and I saw my coworkers daughter and my coworker who was supposed to be dead. Then I saw my admirer and he was following me. Before all this me and my family went to this old house that had something outside we were taking pictures with ( Read more... )

Everyone I know is married. Or has a family. Or live with the love of their life. Where is my love? I feel so alone...

So me and 3 friends went to 13 nights at Jiminy peak. That was about an hour long. After that we came back to my place. My friend has to use my bathroom. So we all went in my house. I told them to be quiet cause my aunt was sleeping. So my friend "Jill" asked what we were doing next. I mentioned going to mount Greylock. She drove this time. We'll ( Read more... )

Okay so I hooked up with my coworker. Crazy right? I never thought it would have gotten that far. We had been flirting for so long. Even though it was in the back of my car it was really nice. He does want to hookup again. He got over excited and kinda felt bad. 

I'm a broken person. I want a relationship but I push people away. I have trust issues and I'm working on them. It's not working. I'm constantly thinking the worst. Is he cheating? I know he isn't but in my mind he is. This is why I end up pushing people away. Good guys. I can't help it. It's something I just do. I tried talking about it with a guy ( Read more... )