Okay I know people are going to think I am crazy but you know what I might be at this point with semi-good reason.Well last night I stayed home obviously and waited for Matt to call. And he didn't I cried. Then I woke up this afternoon from the next night 13 hours of sleep. I was feeling okay for the most part. I decided that I would get up and get ( Read more... )

I can't sleep and I am still waiting for Matt to call. I don't know what to do with myself. I hate this I hate this so much. I feel so helpless because there is nothing I can do here. I miss him so much and no matter how hard I try to forget him I can't my heart tells me different. I am not stupid we had problems and I am sitting here wishing we ( Read more... )

I have updated in a bit because my life has been a bit hectic for a while.I really don't know where to begin to explain how its been for me. Just that there has been something I have been wanting for three years that I had to let go when I wasn't ready. I have been working my ass off to keep Matt here. I have been working forty hours a week and ( Read more... )

This are my thoughts of the moment....I am going to have to stop seeing John and that sucks because I do like the bastard but dammit he was being an ass today! But yeah bummed out about that. Then I am scared of Matt coming to town, it makes me so nervous I think I might puke if I think about it too long. I haven't seen him in three years and thats ( Read more... )

The past couple months might have been the hardest I have experienced in my young adult life. I really don't know what I am suppose to learn from it but I all I do is how I feel about ( Read more... )

I am definitely going through the motions and it sucks. I worked all week straight and picked up a few extra shifts at the studio to make the time go by faster. I just wish I could forget all the stupid shit that has happened and find something great in this world. I just feel like I am living in a dead town. Or maybe its just me? I am sad on the ( Read more... )

Okay since I am going to tell this story a million times over and over and then five times tomorrow I am just going to write it here to at least save me one more story. I left Joe Clark for good. And this is why because he doesn't get who I am at all and never will.He's extremely bipolar and obsessive and is in denial and I wish I could deal with ( Read more... )

I offically have hit bottom. The past few weeks I have been trying to save my relationship as much as I could and of course when I really want something that it hurts it goes wrong. I know its my fault and I am not ever denying that fact. But what really kills me is myself. I mean I almost feel outside myself and I watch the destruction of myself ( Read more... )

I know this is going to be sad.The last week or two has been the shittest it seems of my life and I am tired of it all. I am tired of the bullshit that is consistly handed to me. All the hard work I have put in the past year hasn't paid off. I am not making any money like I should be and keep going on invisible and taken for granted. I am tired of ( Read more... )

well.....i don't even know where to begin with the week i have had. i want everything to change but at the same time i want everything to stay the same. i wanted to get a new job and i was offered one at the studio finally after a year of interning....then to my disapointment it was given to a very good friend of mine and no one told me and i found ( Read more... )