I don't want to think about it, because when I think about it I start to lose my mind.  I don't want to let go- but I have to start looking at this realistically.  What's read hasn't worked for a while, but I'll give it another try.  It's just... everything is getting so frustrating.  Trying to have patience... trying to keep calm.  To stay focused ( Read more... )

( something I found... )

give me understanding, patience, hope.  help me let go of doubt, helplessness, anger.  let me be firm in my resolve, let me have your protection.  I'm entrusting all my thoughts to you for safe-keeping- I'm trying to let go of my expectations.  I don't need a concrete symbol.  Be a sword and shield to stand at my side, a defender, a guardian, a ( Read more... )

I can't say anything right.  I don't think it did anything at all... I've got way too much empathy to handle it all right now.  Let's go on a walk, I'll listen.  I won't say a word if you need the silence.  But I need someone near me, someone to look up to.  And you shine more than I do, whether you'll admit it or not, that's how I see you.   But  ( Read more... )

[are insecurities. fears. nightmares. hopes.  adventures.] [MOTIONLESS]  
I want to blast my eardrums with this harsh music, until I can't hear anything else.  No surrounding static from outside, no voices, no thoughts from inside my head.  It'll hurt, but then the volume will get too soft, and I'll need more.  I dont' want to listen to anything ( Read more... )

it's the ground that I walk on, when I feel too restless to do anything else... when I know my mood is changing, when I know that there's no solution, there's nothing more to say.  It's so stupid... there's no reason to feel this way!

get me out of this room, it's too oppressive, it's too empty.  but there's no where else to go. 

"Listen to each drop of rain (listen listen)
whispering secrets in vain (listen listen)
frantically searching for someone to hear
their story before they hit ground
please don't let go
can't we stay for a while?
it's just too hard to say goodbye
listen to the rain...

I stand alone in the storm (listen listen)
suddenly sweet words take hold (listen listen)
( Read more... )

( meow... )

( is it any use at all? )

I wouldn't do that.

Give me some warning, some reason.  Explain why I should still be waiting, even though this isn't happening at all.  I'm sure that I'll get over this quickly [I'm so easy to please, so quick to amuse] but right now... right now it's cutting.

I spoke about walls once.  Maybe it wouldn't bother me so much then.  I wanted to ( Read more... )