I had a dream last night about Jackie and when I woke up from it I sobbed for an hour. In my dream we were together having a good time. When I woke up from it I couldnt help but burst into tears because I rather not dream about her. that just sucks so bad. why can't i just get over it? shes over it. shes so cold towards me now. i know she still ( Read more... )

Yeah so last night i got drunk and decided to drive all the way to lowell to see jackie and stalk her while she was working. i was wicked nervous at first but i straightened out by the time i walked up to her. I basically stayed there at the store for 4 hours. we just talked and smoked cigarettes. it was really nice to see her again. it started to ( Read more... )

Alllrighhht soo I have a bit of a hangover but yesterday was wicked awesome. I had a family graduation party and my parents let me drink. I was drinkin pinacolattas all day long with my mom and my cousin. And then after most of the family left the rest of us my parents, my brothers, and my cousins all got hammied. There was alcohol everrrrywhere. ( Read more... )

So last night I was wicked depressed. I was alone in my house because my parents left for the weekend. I just sobbed for a good hour. I lit the candle my ex girlfriend gave me and just sobbed. I kept calling her to talk. I have no one to talk to. I just needed her to give me advice. I sobbed on the phone and told her how my life sucks right now. ( Read more... )

Alright.... so a ton of shit happened ( Read more... )

Short term goals and long term goals ( Read more... )

I thought I'd take some time to reflect on my life now that I am in a depressed state of mind. I am now 18 years old. I used to talk about big things changing when I turned 18 and not much changed at all. As I person, I have changed. I strive to be that better person I know I can be. I still feel weakness sometimes though, that something missing. ( Read more... )

So I havent updated in a long time. I really need to change those pictures too because I dont look like I used to, Ive changed quite a bit after two years. I cant believe Im going to be 18 in 2 months....where did my childhood go? I was in such a rush to grow up i wish i could of turned back and kicked those two assholes in the balls while i had a ( Read more... )

I got my liscense today yayy!! I was so fucking excited, i had already failed once before. I also smoked chronic today... i feel strange now. My stomache also had been hurting me all week and then i got diarrea today three times and it was wicked painful. whats wrong with me? I dont know. I feel better now though.

I did pretty good on my diet this week but I ate some ice cream and candy this weekend. On monday Im gunna do alot better on this diet. Im going to start running everyday and on the weekend Im not gunna eat any nasty shit.