The secret is out.

[trying2recover]

So we didn't end up going to Red Lobster tonight - my bf had a bad migraine so we decided to eat at home. I had a half of a piece of chicken and some green beans. And then I purged.

After I got out of the shower, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. My bf asked me why I was cutting my food into tiny pieces. I told him the truth - that I am more

Comments

[perfectiongoals]

Yay! I'm proud of you hun. Telling someone is the first step to recovery : )

[trying2recover]

Thank you...It was really hard. And I'm kind of upset because it'll be even harder for me to purge now :( ...but overall I guess it's for the best.

[perfectiongoals]

That's the spirit! Don't listen to your mind ..it's ill. You will be grateful that you don't have to deal with the damages to your body later on.

[raitaysil]

I wish I could give you some :( but I think telling someone and letting them support you is the first step.

[trying2recover]

I really hope so. I'm just scared. He can't physically stop me from doing it, but I know that if I go to the bathroom right after dinner he'll know what I'm going to do so he won't let me...Maybe it is for the best.

[princesswhore]

I agree that telling your boyfriend is a good step. It's hard to keep engaging in ED behaviors when other people know, I think. Not because they can "catch" you doing it, but because it can hold you more personally accountable, make you think just a little more about whether or not it's worth it.... (I'm not sure if I said that right.)

Why do you think it is that you've relapsed into ED behaviors? Stressors, mood states, thinking lately about something really upsetting or hard to deal with...? What do you think was the catalyst?

Also, are you in therapy at all?

[trying2recover]

I honestly think it's stress. I have been SO stressed out this semester, and I think I turned to ED tendencies because of that. Then again, watching the documentary "Thin" and buying the book triggered it even more. I just feel so gross and fat.

I haven't been in therapy for a year. I felt like I got all I could out of it and that I was much better. And, I know this sounds like such an excuse, but I don't have the time to go right now. The semester ends in less than 2 weeks and then I'll be working full time at my job during Winter Break.

[potentowl]

*Lots of hugs*

[art0ne]

HONEY DONT PURGE.
Omg love talk to me or Alexis anytime. You look PERFECT the way you are. Every person is beautiful. God dont damage youreself please, eat three healthy meals a day. No fast food they suck!. We eat meat and potatoes and some veggies here. It keeps you in a good way. And if you think you weigh to much wich i definetly dont. And feel like you need to loose some, run !. Dont purge , it makes me feel so sad you are such a nice person. Please dont.

[trying2recover]

I appreciate your concern. It is very hard. I have not purged since I told my boyfriend my "secret." But I'm still consuming under 5-600 calories a day. I want to lose weight, and it's working. For the most part at least.