trying2recover

(Untitled)

trying2recover Dec 08, 2011 22:11

( Read more... )

I have been listening to this song a lot lately. It's by my favorite band, Bright Eyes: "No Lies, Just Love."

If you currently or have ever felt suicidal or attempted suicide, please listen to it. I think it is very powerful. This video also includes the lyrics.

I'm not sure if it will show the actual video, but I do have the link for it:

http://www. ( Read more... )

Such beautiful dignity in self-abuse

trying2recover Dec 05, 2011 01:25

“Hunger hurts, but starving works.” - Fiona Apple

“I’m staring in the mirror, looking back at the person I hate…Do you know what it’s like to feel ugly all the time?” - Waltz Moore

“You wake up in the morning to find out you are not who you used to be.” - Conor Oberst

I feel so fucked up…mentally…psychologically…physically…In every possible way ( Read more... )

"Skinny"

trying2recover Dec 04, 2011 03:11

So I got called skinny twice today - once by a manager at work and the second time by my brother’s girlfriend. It felt good, but I still feel so FAT.

I drank tonight - about 3 rum and diet cokes; I looked up calories online, but I don’t know the exact amount, seeing as how I just poured the rum from the bottle into the cup - so I have no idea how ( Read more... )

hungry, anxiety, alcohol, anorexia, eating, depression

How is this possible?

trying2recover Dec 03, 2011 14:27

WEIGHT:
After my last post ranting about the calories in margaritas, I weighed myself today and lost a pound.

Maybe margaritas don't have as many calories as the internet said they did? I mean, I got a fruit-flavored one which had oranges, limes, and grapefruit in it; not sure if that made any difference at all.

Still. I'm pretty damn happy about that ( Read more... )

work, self injury, eating, depression

I am SO angry with myself.

trying2recover Dec 03, 2011 02:04

So I did REALLY well on my intake today. Less than 500 calories.

UNTIL I went out with friends for drinks.
I had 2 margaritas and 1 rum & coke.

I should have looked up the fucking calories before I ordered the drinks.

Yet I’m still not sure exactly how many calories the drinks have. Online, the estimated caloric value of a margarita ranges between ( Read more... )

The secret is out.

trying2recover Dec 01, 2011 22:48

So we didn't end up going to Red Lobster tonight - my bf had a bad migraine so we decided to eat at home. I had a half of a piece of chicken and some green beans. And then I purged.

After I got out of the shower, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. My bf asked me why I was cutting my food into tiny pieces. I told him the truth - that I am more ( Read more... )

Ugh.

trying2recover Dec 01, 2011 12:22

Yesterday I only ate ONE thing. ONE fucking thing. My total caloric intake was approximately between 400 and 500 calories.

So how the fuck did I gain 0.5lbs?

I didn’t purge.

That’s the only thing that I can think of.

But still - consuming less than 600 calories in one day should have definitely caused me to lose weight, not gain it.

Then again, I’m ( Read more... )

A line allows progress, a circle does not.

trying2recover Nov 30, 2011 17:21

YES! Definitely just started page six of my paper! I am SO fucking happy. Apparently once I start something, I'm on a roll. Going to take a break from it for the rest of the night.

Haven't eaten all day. My stomach keeps grumbling :( . I just don't know what to eat. I avoid the kitchen as much as possible because when I go in there I just end up ( Read more... )

I feel like a failure.

trying2recover Nov 30, 2011 13:22

Ugh! I just wrote a long post and my computer fucked up so I have to attempt to re-write it. I hate it when that shit happens.

Anyways, I’m skipping class today.
It’s only one class.
I have a B, my professor doesn’t take attendance, and I have nothing that is due to be turned in today.

But with only two weeks left in the semester, I kind of feel ( Read more... )