This journal is like a graveyard. I read through past entries and feel like I am reading about things that happened centuries ago. Still, not that much has changed ( Read more... )

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I’ve tried to tell you

But it never makes a difference.

This time I will keep it all to myself.

This time I won’t lose myself.

And You, You’ll never know it.

I

I’ve fallen

I’ve fallen backwards

Into the rain

I

I’ve given

I’ve given everything

I

I know now

It’s time to burn this house down.

I will never let myself live in broken dreams.

You

You ( Read more... )

This morning I woke up to baby kissing my back and holding me close. He couldn't sleep because it was hot in our room. I opened the window and we laid there half asleep listening to the rain. God I love Spring. I wish I lived somewhere where it rained all the time, at least once a day. Sigh.  When I was a little girl and it rained I would go and ( Read more... )

Sometimes I wish I could tell you things; little things so insignificant and yet so necessary to the endless depths of me. These things would ride on the wave of a whisper, fluid and disarming and flow into your subconscious like water into wine. If I could I swear I would call myself the Miracle Maker. I lie down next to your heat and take in the ( Read more... )

Every moment is novel in our small world of tempestuous love. In him, a constant propensity for a change of weather lies in every grimy corner of conversation and in every tender touch of skin. A creature of unpredictable emotional bounds that rocks the sea of our pairing back and forth; we sway in an intimate ship of consummate adoration and ( Read more... )

This body, Erased

This soul, Displaced

All this time,

Was wasted in you

All this pain,

So tried and true

Living devoted to his empty shame

Will never be enough

So i am trying not to get obsessed with numbers again( who am i kidding? I still am...but still)

i guess well see.

I have until the last week of march to lose 15 pounds.

Period.

I don't know what i'm going to have to do, or who i am going to have to lie to in order to get there.

I hate this.

I hate this body more.

I'm not okay, i'm not okay, I'm not okay!
I keep trying. I try to hold my head up, I try not to let this get to me, but it's too much.

100--------126

God. I feel like I can't breathe. I feel like my throat is closing up. I hate this.

i looked at my weight on a bmi calculater and I'm normal. 18.5 to 24.9 is normal....I am a 23. Almost at the top of ( Read more... )