i am so busy. so so so busy.  going to school full time. basically working full time hours. coaching cheerleading. cheerleading at school.  it's a lot.  a whole lot on my plate.  and can i tell you something?  i think im prepared for this crazy year.  i am all set.  i am focused and rocking with time management.  and everything is just falling into ( Read more... )

so um question...

what the fuck is the issue here?

what is all of this supposed to mean?

when will everything just make sense?

I feel like I'm just grabbing at straws and I keep drawing that fucking short one.

is a fucking "i miss you" too much to ask for??

sometimes I don't know why I bother.

so this week has been a week of  "good byes" and the next week of good byes are only going to get harder.

I thought in my head who I had to say good bye to.  And this is who I came up with:

Ryan.
Jimmy.
Katelyn.
Ethan.
Sara.
Erin.
Dan.

and that's where I am on my list.

The first good bye, which came a lot earlier than it was originally supposed to, was ( Read more... )

he's mine too.

even though. you have always been his number one.

and he has never really paid much attention to me.

and never really been that proud of me.

and never really showed me affection.

and is probably the cause of my self-esteem issues.

and is probably the cause of my weight and issue with food.

and is probably the reason why I can't seem to have ( Read more... )

i have a few questions.  and if you think you know the answer to any of them. feel free to comment. even if we rarely talk.  i could use the adivce...

why do things happen when you least expect them?
why do things happen when you can least handle them?
why is the timing just never right?
why can't you ever go back to how things used to be?
why can't ( Read more... )

tonight is ry's get together for his birthday.

should be interesting.  i'm happy to get to drink w/ him. one of the few things we have not done together lol.  i'm a little nervous.  feel like it's a mini high school reunion.  and people are going to be judging me.  but i guess that happens regardless.  people judge people.  i just want to go and ( Read more... )

some people.

are just.

um.

how do you say it?

dumb.

lol.

i'm soooo proud of myself. =)

ok. i really hope this gets back to you.
I tried.  I tried soo soo hard.  almost to the point of me looking like an asshole.  and you just blew me off.  i don't get it.  i practically bent over backwards, and you looked the other way.  i'm sorry, but i do believe that you are the one that owes me an appology.  i do believe that you are the one that ( Read more... )

hmm...

i haven't updated in so long that i'm really not sure where to start.   i guess i'll just start fresh.

drama sucks. but drama is life. and there really is no way around that apparently.

i stay out of it.   i really try my best.  and that's why i feel that i am usually okay with everyone.

i think sara and i decided that summer just started ( Read more... )