My morals are being tested, as is my character, and my strength. But what would require more strength, sticking with it or walking away?

The days go unmarked and unnoticed. This is one of those times. Depth never scares me, but will I ever be heard from again?

I lie dormant, in a deep sleep of which I am not sure recovery shall follow. The snow has frozen me over, left me stiff, uninspired, and formal. I see distance all around me--my walls impenetrable. I made it this far, I suppose, an accomplishment unto itself. My world has become smaller once again ( Read more... )

Another minute passes, an hour, a day, a long weekend gone. I am buried deep in my mind, unable and unwilling to break out of it. I am becoming nocturnal again, practicing my escapist tendencies, forgetting to do silly things. I just can't seem to focus myself on anything, well nothing real at least. I keep thinking about the ending scene in ( Read more... )

I feel my lungs expand and contract and trace the rhythm's course throughout my body. I'm waiting for the crash, for my heart to stop beating and the motion made by my breathing cut abruptly; is it coming? These clumsy fingers ruin everything--nothing is safe in my slippery, careless hands. I feel the weight of the world--I'd rather feel nothing ( Read more... )

I need a new flow. A new way of being.

I am writing this entry because I feel like I'm at the beginning of something potentially great. My heart has swelled five times it's normal dimensions and it threatens to break through the barbed wire binding it. I feel giddy and giggly, and totally in control. It's a weird sort of liberating feeling--very unlike me to say the least. My mind ( Read more... )

Oh life. It's been a really fun summer with good people, minus the whole new living situation thing and the school loan nonsense. I do perpetually wake up tired and wish I didn't have to go to work, but I guess that's most people in life. I love my friends, even my family sometimes, and all the things I'm able to do. I'm a bit nervous about ( Read more... )

Ok, so Matt just said that I'm "in heat" and I died. HE did this? I'm to visit, for real this time maybe. My mind is reeling. I hate this.

So.. i'm a little stressed out. I am currently in the middle of writing a paper/presentation due tomorrow and I can't seem to focus. About every 10 minutes I become convinced that I have to pee and I fidget and check random emails and facebook. This is not productivity. I am really losing my energy, if I had any to begin with, and yea. I ( Read more... )