More 2014.11 - Nino's 'It'
I'm so conflicted over this one.
Enjoy!
- - - - -
It {一途}
Craving love?
What he's always wholeheartedly thinking about are not just the big themes. Unchangingly, he also thinks of the trifling things. Now, what are the small ways within him?
Chapter #71
Craving love?
A sudden shower signals the end of summer. A large tree serves to provide cover from the rain. Even with the humidity, his expression remains unruffled. He says he likes rain. His reason? Everyone hates it. "I generally like the things that most people dislike," he grins, ever the perverse. So despite being well attuned to people's feelings, he rarely shares them. Even more so for women. For example, 'people who conceal their age' or 'people who cry "gender equality" only when it's convenient'... If you were to ask him to list the things he doesn't understand about women, there'd be no end to it.
"It's not that I dislike those things - there's just a lot I don't understand. Girls tend to demand words too much; it might be that they use words too much. See, there are many girls who want you to say the words 'I love you', right? If it were me, if she really demanded it, I think I'd say it. But as for that, I don't think that my so-called 'I love you' has that all that much destructive power.
"I mean, apparently American couples say 'I LOVE YOU' on a daily basis, but I've heard that their divorce rates are several times higher than Japan's. Even if they openly express their love, it doesn't necessarily foster a good relationship. When they fight, if the girl were to say, "If you're not satisfied then say it!" and if the guy were to speak his mind, seems like things would only get worse (laughs). Most probably what she really wants isn't words now, is it?"
Why do girls prefer stimulation and excitement over stability?
At least, a girl's actions and words often contradict.
"For example, take the phrase 'men are are unfaithful creatures'. I think that was probably coined by a girl, but it feels like the ones most hurt by it would be girls themselves. Beneath those words is something like, 'Even if he cheats on you, it can't be helped. There are other men out there...'; I think it's meant to be something to cheer themselves up with. If that hurts their feelings, then they'd have been better off not saying anything, wouldn't they? Well, there are men who also believe that 'men are unfaithful creatures' too, though (laughs)."
Well then, how should one cope with the 'infidelity of men'?
"I don't know (laughs). I don't know, but saying something like, 'Even if you cheat, it's fine as long as I don't find out,' and leaving it at that would be fine, wouldn't it? For men, telling them not to do something makes them want to do it all the more. Conversely, there aren't any men who continue doing it when you tell them to it's fine to go ahead, right? So if you think of it like that, saying 'If you cheat, we're breaking up' would be a total no-go. If you suddenly thrust negative penalties like 'breaking up' at him, he'd want to escape at once, right? If it were said in a positive way like, 'If I find out, I'll forgive you', then he'd want to return to her. It's just that if you really don't want him to cheat on you, the first step would be not to marry him. The theory is that cheating at the 'lovers' stage won't have real penalties."
That seems like a convenient theory for men... To that, Nino responds with, 'But women also have the desire to cheat, right?' Certainly, there are adultery-themed dramas on of late.
"There are more women who go out and work these days, so their desires will grow and their chances of meeting others also increase. So what if my girlfriend or wife had the desire to cheat? I'd also tell her, 'As long as I don't find out' (laughs). But in reality, would I cheat on my partner? If I wanted to cheat so badly that I'd destroy the stability and peace of mind we have then it can't be stopped, but that means there's no longer any meaning to us being together."
Women's desire to cheat would most probably stem from being emotionally unsatisfied. Nowadays, there are many people who maintain the stability while cheating because they're seeking more stimulation and excitement.
"Whether they're single or married, women want to be in love; they'll say they always want to be in love. I don't understand that, either. A love that lasts a lifetime is unbelievable, isn't it? 'I want to get married, but I also want to be in love,' or 'I'll leave my husband if I fall in love with someone else'... I think that defeats the definition of 'marriage'.
"Marriage isn't just about the person concerned, but it's also a question of your family, right? The women who say they want love - is it really love they want? Are they mistaking 'liking' for love? Or throbbing 'hotness' for love? To me, that's not love. No matter how old I get, I think the beginning is love. However, love doesn't last for a lifetime; your relationship will change, I'd hate to run away from that reality. So if I were a woman, I wouldn't say, 'I always want to be in love'. I wouldn't think about wanting to be in love no matter how old I get. I'd treasure the stability from getting married."
A trivial topic has got his head cocked to a side. It seems that there's one thing about a woman's desire for love that he understands the least.
"But the amount I don't understand about women is just right. It'd be naive to be under the impression that I even understand half of it, and for all I know there'd no longer be any reason for us to be together (laughs)."
- - - - -
Kazunari Ninomiya
Born 17th June 1983 in Tokyo. Their 13th original album is set to be released in October. They will begin their 5-dome nationwide tour on 14th November. There's still no end to the topic of 'the difference between men and women'. "'I won't use the fish I catch as bait,' might be an obvious thing for men (laughs). I mean, if you're aiming for different things, the bait would be of different species as well. When you start dating, rather than diligently mailing each other, spending time together might be a better expression of your love than anything, I think."
- - - - -
>> 'It' column by Yoshi Rei from the November 2014 MORE magazine.
>> Photography by Emori Yasuyuki.
>> Scans from ltgmars.
>> Any corrections/suggestions? Drop me a comment ^__^
>> Fangirling and feedback much encouraged <3
>> Next month
>> Previous month
>> Past issues
[originally posted 2015-03-22 19:54:00]
<< back || index || next >>
Enjoy!
- - - - -
It {一途}
Craving love?
What he's always wholeheartedly thinking about are not just the big themes. Unchangingly, he also thinks of the trifling things. Now, what are the small ways within him?
Chapter #71
Craving love?
A sudden shower signals the end of summer. A large tree serves to provide cover from the rain. Even with the humidity, his expression remains unruffled. He says he likes rain. His reason? Everyone hates it. "I generally like the things that most people dislike," he grins, ever the perverse. So despite being well attuned to people's feelings, he rarely shares them. Even more so for women. For example, 'people who conceal their age' or 'people who cry "gender equality" only when it's convenient'... If you were to ask him to list the things he doesn't understand about women, there'd be no end to it.
"It's not that I dislike those things - there's just a lot I don't understand. Girls tend to demand words too much; it might be that they use words too much. See, there are many girls who want you to say the words 'I love you', right? If it were me, if she really demanded it, I think I'd say it. But as for that, I don't think that my so-called 'I love you' has that all that much destructive power.
"I mean, apparently American couples say 'I LOVE YOU' on a daily basis, but I've heard that their divorce rates are several times higher than Japan's. Even if they openly express their love, it doesn't necessarily foster a good relationship. When they fight, if the girl were to say, "If you're not satisfied then say it!" and if the guy were to speak his mind, seems like things would only get worse (laughs). Most probably what she really wants isn't words now, is it?"
Why do girls prefer stimulation and excitement over stability?
At least, a girl's actions and words often contradict.
"For example, take the phrase 'men are are unfaithful creatures'. I think that was probably coined by a girl, but it feels like the ones most hurt by it would be girls themselves. Beneath those words is something like, 'Even if he cheats on you, it can't be helped. There are other men out there...'; I think it's meant to be something to cheer themselves up with. If that hurts their feelings, then they'd have been better off not saying anything, wouldn't they? Well, there are men who also believe that 'men are unfaithful creatures' too, though (laughs)."
Well then, how should one cope with the 'infidelity of men'?
"I don't know (laughs). I don't know, but saying something like, 'Even if you cheat, it's fine as long as I don't find out,' and leaving it at that would be fine, wouldn't it? For men, telling them not to do something makes them want to do it all the more. Conversely, there aren't any men who continue doing it when you tell them to it's fine to go ahead, right? So if you think of it like that, saying 'If you cheat, we're breaking up' would be a total no-go. If you suddenly thrust negative penalties like 'breaking up' at him, he'd want to escape at once, right? If it were said in a positive way like, 'If I find out, I'll forgive you', then he'd want to return to her. It's just that if you really don't want him to cheat on you, the first step would be not to marry him. The theory is that cheating at the 'lovers' stage won't have real penalties."
That seems like a convenient theory for men... To that, Nino responds with, 'But women also have the desire to cheat, right?' Certainly, there are adultery-themed dramas on of late.
"There are more women who go out and work these days, so their desires will grow and their chances of meeting others also increase. So what if my girlfriend or wife had the desire to cheat? I'd also tell her, 'As long as I don't find out' (laughs). But in reality, would I cheat on my partner? If I wanted to cheat so badly that I'd destroy the stability and peace of mind we have then it can't be stopped, but that means there's no longer any meaning to us being together."
Women's desire to cheat would most probably stem from being emotionally unsatisfied. Nowadays, there are many people who maintain the stability while cheating because they're seeking more stimulation and excitement.
"Whether they're single or married, women want to be in love; they'll say they always want to be in love. I don't understand that, either. A love that lasts a lifetime is unbelievable, isn't it? 'I want to get married, but I also want to be in love,' or 'I'll leave my husband if I fall in love with someone else'... I think that defeats the definition of 'marriage'.
"Marriage isn't just about the person concerned, but it's also a question of your family, right? The women who say they want love - is it really love they want? Are they mistaking 'liking' for love? Or throbbing 'hotness' for love? To me, that's not love. No matter how old I get, I think the beginning is love. However, love doesn't last for a lifetime; your relationship will change, I'd hate to run away from that reality. So if I were a woman, I wouldn't say, 'I always want to be in love'. I wouldn't think about wanting to be in love no matter how old I get. I'd treasure the stability from getting married."
A trivial topic has got his head cocked to a side. It seems that there's one thing about a woman's desire for love that he understands the least.
"But the amount I don't understand about women is just right. It'd be naive to be under the impression that I even understand half of it, and for all I know there'd no longer be any reason for us to be together (laughs)."
- - - - -
Kazunari Ninomiya
Born 17th June 1983 in Tokyo. Their 13th original album is set to be released in October. They will begin their 5-dome nationwide tour on 14th November. There's still no end to the topic of 'the difference between men and women'. "'I won't use the fish I catch as bait,' might be an obvious thing for men (laughs). I mean, if you're aiming for different things, the bait would be of different species as well. When you start dating, rather than diligently mailing each other, spending time together might be a better expression of your love than anything, I think."
- - - - -
>> 'It' column by Yoshi Rei from the November 2014 MORE magazine.
>> Photography by Emori Yasuyuki.
>> Scans from ltgmars.
>> Any corrections/suggestions? Drop me a comment ^__^
>> Fangirling and feedback much encouraged <3
>> Next month
>> Previous month
>> Past issues
[originally posted 2015-03-22 19:54:00]
<< back || index || next >>