so he lied to me again, the entire time we were together, one big lie, he lied to everyone, thats apparently supposed to make me feel better, thats what i have been told. i guess im willing to forgive his lies becasue well i havent been completely honest with him eather ( Read more... )

i can feel my friends sliping away, but im not holding a hand out to catch them before they leave. i dont know, i need to find some way to break me out of this trance i seem to be in lately.its like im never asleep but never awake, always working but enver gettin anything done just goin through the motions in life, its not me, im hyper, crazy, sexy ( Read more... )

as you can tell in the blog before this one, i thought everything about me and josh going wrong was my fault, welp, hes an ass for makin me think that way. he got a new myspace, why he thought i wouldnt find it is beyond me. he left tif loving messages before he even left me, i think its all fucked up but funny in its own littel way. i still want ( Read more... )

well hello, me and josh are offcialy over. yeah it kinda sux, but im takin it alot better then i thought i would, i mean i have been better, but i have been a hell of alot worse. he said he needs to get his life straight. i dont beleive that shit for a second. i think im takin it so well because i have awesome friends. rodrick has talked me through ( Read more... )

i finaly talked to him today, 4 days of silence broken, because of me of course, i called him, i told myself i wouldnt, but he deleted his myspace adn xanga, i mean why he did that i have no fucking clue. he says he has to make a decision on wether or not he can be in the relationship because he feels like me keeper, like hes always raggin on me ( Read more... )

you don't know how you feel ( Read more... )

hmm where do i start. i dont really know what to say, i have so much goin on in my head. i dont know if im the one hat screwed things up, or if me drinkin was the last straw. i dont know if he knows how much shit i go through everytime he pulls something like this. i dont know if i should have expected this. i dont know if im going to see him ( Read more... )

chello ( Read more... )

hey guys, at beaks right now, they are all smokeing , and i dont any more, so im just being all tipsy on the comp. sometimes being a light weight is so worth it. he's mad at me, cause i didnt tell him i was busy, im sorry i wanted to talk to him but not seem rude to my friends, he said he'd call back before bed, hopefully i can talk him into stayin ( Read more... )

some say that i never should have gotten into this mess. some say that i should leave him. some say that i shouldn't put my self through this emotional roller-coaster with it being good one day and completely horrible the next. but i really don't want to listen to them, if it were anyone else, i would have never even started the relationship much ( Read more... )