i think i want people to know i'm bi now... my sister figured it out... i've spent most of preseason dropping hints to people... i know it's stupid because it's just going to make me more of an outsider, but i figure how bad can it get?? i already hate it here and it's made me suicidal before... i'm not even looking for people to be open minded ( Read more... )

it's been really foggy and muggy the last couple days... one of those times that i really hate not having AC... my parents left for baltimore but because the base rules state that no minor can be left alone for 24 hours or more my grandparents had to come and stay in the house... so yea it sucks around here... no one has time for hanging out ( Read more... )

goddamnit just let me steam for a while... i don't want to fucking stop talking forever i just need time... you fucking screwed me over so bad! what type of person decides to go to a concert instead of his best friend's 16'th birthday party?!... yea i'm allowed to be mad right nowso just let me

p.s. WHERE IS PETER?!!! I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HIM IN

yeap so i guess i am screwing myself over again... i've got really bad grades in chem and geom... if i don't get them up really fast i won't make dean's list and my rents will flip... well i guess that wouldn't be that bad because they're already on my ass for some reason... whatever i think i'm going to leave soon because i can't take them anymore ( Read more... )

so i'm back on varsity... but i have yet another crisis... wow my journal is full of these things... anyways i mentioned a couple months ago that i had a dream about lucas kissing me and i liked it... well that turned into me actually liking him and now it's all messed up completely... coaty and chewy asked him on the side what he thought about me ( Read more... )

i think this is the worst i've ever felt... everyone is telling me this isn't the end of the world, but how would they know? everything that i've planned out for myself of completely falling apart. my grades are shit (compared to what they should be), everyone around me is leaving or has turned their back on me, i don't have lax anymore because i ( Read more... )

i got back from work and was completely exhausted... i guess that's what i get for slacking off for months... my parents went out and i thought what if i got drunk and smoked myself sick? i didn't end up doing anything because i had gotten food poisoning from the place i work... as i was sitting on the bathroom floor i sort of came to a realization ( Read more... )

i want to figure out the source of all my neurocies... i mean i hate flipping out in class or at people for random shit... it's starting to bother me that i can't slep for a whole night either... like i wake up atleast 5 times each night... i think my subconcious is telling me something but i can never remember what happens right before i wake up ( Read more... )

i had a dream last night ( Read more... )

somethings just need to be experienced. don't wonder what could or will happen, just do whatever it is in question. if something is worth you questioning then it's probably worth doing, and if it doesn't turn out for the best then you can atleast say you tried it. i want to say this with some sort of first hand experience...