Last night I had a dream.  I have dreams every night, always intense, but this one is sticking out at me for some reason.

I was at the aquarium.  Katie was going to teach me how to scuba dive, and I was excited, but as I was getting ready to go and finding the gear I suddenly became petrified of the claustrophobic effects of being underwater.  ( Read more... )

My Grandpa Warren died.  My dad didn't tell me about it for three weeks, and then only because I called him.  I didn't know about the funeral ( Read more... )

The Night House

Every day the body works in the fields of the world
mending a stone wall
or swinging a sickle through the tall grass --
the grass of civics, the grass of money --
and every night the body curls around itself
and listens for the soft bells of sleep.

But the heart is restless and rises
from the body in the middle of the night,
( Read more... )

Work at the aquarium is hard.  Really hard.  I like people, but I hold so much contempt for them, and it makes me want to cry when it's obvious that they hold contempt for me in my role at the shop.  I can tell I've grown because I don't actually cry, I stoop down behind the counter to get a bag and I silently mutter what I'd really like to say to ( Read more... )

The following is for my own use, I don't expect anyone to read any or all of it, although you are welcome to ( Read more... )

I woke up to snow today.  It was the lovely sort of snow that isn't thick enough to get into your shoes or slippery enough to cause you to fall over, but it is enough to lightly frost every bare twig.  I went to Twin Ponds park to take pictures, stalked some interesting ducks, and got pelted by melting snow and bits of ice from the trees.  It was ( Read more... )

So, my life ( Read more... )

Enjoying the pain in my belly, the gnawing of emotion and emptyness.  This is the top of the spiral staircase.  I've been singing my lungs out all day, it seems the only appropriate way to deal with my emotions.  It isn't true, but it feels that way.  I'll give in, I always do, but I wish I was courageous enough to be in control in the stupidest of

I've been fooling around on the piano.  Re-teaching myself a bit of musicality from my choir days.  It makes me very happy to have a grand piano in my house, and I plan to stop abusing this unlooked for privilege and learn to play it somewhat properly this year.  I'm also goint to tune my beautifully blue guitar and re-learn and re-build my ( Read more... )

I'll probably regret writing this, but whatever.

Apparently Lea Culver can't be in contact with me or be my friend anymore, because "she's respecting her sister's wishes".
The kicker is that she ended the friendship silently, without explanation, just like Alisha did.  She unfriended me on facebook, she didn't respond to follow up friend requests or ( Read more... )