strength is something i lack.

i was gonna pretend that it didn't bother me.... but honestly, it really sucks when your best friend doesn't even ask how you are when you haven't talked for a couple days. cool. especially when you really wanted to just talk to them. just feels weird. ok i'm gonna go back to pretending i don't care about it now.

sometimes i just feel like i really appreciate the good friends i have .... actually more like the people who you just happen to connect with.... because life is freaking hard and we need to stick together if we're gonna make it thru... it just seems like so many people are going through stuff right now that they have to deal with that just sucks ( Read more... )

everytime things get a little less confusing, they just end up being more confusing anyway. bleh. o well. guess ill stop trying to figure stuff out ( Read more... )

if i die, and someone feels like publishing something about me and uncovering the real mysteries about me, you won't know until you find the other half of my heart on here that no one's seen and that no one knows about.

not that I plan on dying. but just in case. :)

had to write it sometime.

there's so much to say. my heart and my mind disagree. but i'm happy? so just like always, i'm confused. i'm scared to talk to you.... what if what if what if.

ahh i just want to talk to you.

so i'm a little sad that its halloween and its only 9 and im not doing anything right now and i dont even have to get up early.  mm well thats what i get for not drinking. and thats alright with me. i'd rather do something at my house than watch people be drunk and dumb. however, i really feel like watching a movie with someone. or playing a game. ( Read more... )

I have come to the realization that no one understands me any longer. There is not one singular person in the world who knows enough about me, maybe not even everything though, to say that they really understand me.  I'm not sure how I feel about this...

its really awkward waking up to dreams like that two nights in a row..... once you go there, you can never go back i guess. i guess it'll just stay with me for the rest of my life. wondering wondering, who is it this time? ace. yea right. why does my brain insult me like that? i guess its better than knowing its a girl. 

Something I discovered today, that is pretty much my life right now, summed up in someone else's words:

Once again i said my goodbyes
to those i love most .
My heart feels that familiar pain
as i long for hope
cause this road is hard
when i feel so far

And God i'm crying out tonight
cause i'm giving you my life
but im tired and im missing whats ( Read more... )