I talked to you tonight and it was interesting. I was cold and distant, avoiding questions and answers, and maybe you wonder why. If you did, you never asked. If you did happen to ask, I couldn't answer you. Not an answer that would sound sweet or even nice. But I am not really either, now am I? My reactions mirror my feelings. All those feelings ( Read more... )

I've been thinking (dwelling, perhaps) a lot lately about the relationships I have with other people. The way I crave so much love and attention. I have always been a very needy person but will very rarely admit that to anyone. Even though I don't admit in words, I am sure that others can see that. I try to keep my distance from others. I try to be ( Read more... )

I have this roll of undeveloped film sitting in the cup holder next to my drivers seat. There are many pictures of you on it and I don't want to see them come to life. I want to keep them locked away in that tiny, black tube. Lost. Forgotten. I dont want to relive those moments. Memories. They are every where. How you can you only be in my life for ( Read more... )

"Sometimes ( Read more... )

It's funny how it only takes a moment for everything to change. For everything to crumble. It took months for me to build the trust I had for you and it only took a moment for that to crumble into pieces. This past week has been...confusing. One minute I'm up, the next I'm down. But I trusted you with my feelings. Do you know how long I've been ( Read more... )

 I walked in, trying to be cool about seeing you with him again. I spent a lot of time thinking and I realize that I cannot be taking something that isn't mine. I sit down and you come closer. You look at me, questions spinning around in your eyes. i look down at you and try to tell you how im feeling. you hand me a piece of paper and tell me to ( Read more... )

i looked over at you tonight, sitting comfortably in his lap. my eyes grew a deep green. what is that feeling in the pit of my stomach? anger washes over me. i cant feel this. i have NO right to feel this way. you love him. he loves you. and i stuck myself in the middle. i placed myself where i don't belong. you look at me, nudging me with your toe ( Read more... )

long strands of hair hiding your face. hiding the smile that plays over your lips when i say something to you. did i just make you blush? i didnt know that you gave me the power to do that. should i be doing that? you scoot closer. please dont do that. you really shouldnt be doing that. you wink at me. okay, you can do that but just dont get too ( Read more... )

i dreamed about her today. i was chasing after her but no matter how hard i ran, i couldnt catch up with her. she would disappear and just when i thought i reached her, she'd be off again. then i was talking to k., who i havent thought about in years. (ive visited her grave once in awhile though)i kept asking k. , "why? please, tell me why?" but ( Read more... )

i haven't been there in two years and today i had to step foot on the psych. ward. some where ive tried so hard to stay away from. there are too many memories there for me to handle. but when i walked in, i wasn't expecting to feel the way i did ( Read more... )