RIP Crazy J. you were the best fucking friend ever. 12/23/05

-Transmission: Lost

I've gone through some weird times lately. In the end, everything sucks. I need help, and I might be going to get it aka meds. Fucking Hell! I'm tired of living how I am, but I don't think I can change it totally on my own. I don't know where to go on from here. My war is still going on and I can't get out.

-transmission: lost

Shit has been so fucked up lately. One of my BEST friends is going to jail. I might be put on meds too. I still feel like I'm going fucking no where. I fucking hate everyone I see, like immensely. FUCK THEM ALL! I mean nothing to them and I know it. I need something new, something that makes waking up in the morning worth it. Sometimes I ( Read more... )

yeah so my plans for the weekend died, wtf!

I hope Halloween is better.

Post if you wanna do something

-Over and out!

So, yeah. Shit has been goin' ok. I've been having some weird times lately. I feel better about this all though. Things are looking up again and I'm really hoping they will stay that way for a while. I hope this doesn't all blow up in my face again. I have my court date soon, and hopefully that will turn out good...well as good as a court ( Read more... )

For a few brief minutes, everything seemed to make sense. That's part of why I wrote my last post. Suddenly, everything just fell apart again. I don't even know if I DESERVE to live anymore. Every concept reguarding morality and civility, every intangible factor in my life just shattered like a wine glass that fell from the roof of the World ( Read more... )

Life in every breath.

That's all that needs to be said.

-Over and out

I don't know what to do anymore. It all hurts so much. I'm seriously starting to fucking lose it. It all feels so insane, so unreal. Nothing seems real to me anymore, and I have to hurt myself just to replace this pain I'm already feeling. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. This bullshit is going to kill me. I'm so afraid for my future now, I can't ( Read more... )

I really don't know what to do anymore. Everyday feels like it's going to be hell, and I'm getting afraid of going out anymore because it feels like I am going to be hurt by someone. I feel like no one respects me enough to let me get through my day without threatening or hitting me, and recently I have almost had violent encounters with people ( Read more... )

It's all over. I have lost it all. FUCK! I'm tired and in pain, but i don't care as much anymore. I have lost the last of my mental fortitude. From here on out, EVERYTHING will be different. I won't be surprised if you look at me as a different person from now on. I feel so different, like not even a person anymore. I have grown so twisted ( Read more... )