If you were to finally embrace your secret inner ninja, what would you introduce yourself as and what would be your unique ninja move?

I was dreaming last night about composing the BINGOCALYPSE. It was going to be given over a loud speaker. When I woke up and finally managed to relay this to Matt (after many attempts, as combining the words bingo and apocalypse in speech turns out to be quite a difficult thing for me) I remembered that the revolution was going to be televised, ( Read more... )

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SIERRA VISTA, Arizona (AP) -- A grandmother found with a trunk full of marijuana was convicted of drug running in what prosecutors said was an attempt to earn cash for a bingo habit ( Read more... )

Left work to go to the gym today. I let five people out in traffic, one because I like my car in one piece. Rudely, none of them waved, even after I shook my fist at them and screamed, "Why no wave??!?! So wrong!!!!" One of the people I let out tried to get in the next lane over, but their hopes were dashed. Secretly, I knew it was all ( Read more... )

Hrm... I've been a bit of a sod since April in terms of doing absolutely anything LJ related. Dear god... It just autosaved and I've been typing less than a minute. I expect that the wonders will not shortly cease. Since I just posted a plea for money I figured I should probably also update this thing and say, "Hi," or something along those ( Read more... )

Breasts. Bosoms. Titties. Melons. Orbs. Maracas. Jubes. Angel Cakes. El Primo Torpedos. Jugs. Frontal Female Water Wings. Moo Moos. Quantum Heaps. Tracts of Land. Barbettes. Milk Cans. Bazooms. Abbott and Costello. The Boston Wobbelers ( Read more... )

The birds are sacrificing themselves to Thurston. One killed itself against our windows last night. We disposed of the body (much to Thurston's horror as she wanted to gnaw on it and beat it about as she rightfully should have been able to had we not thought the newly deceased poultry was more than likely diseased and not right in the head. One ( Read more... )

I have a hole in my boot. The kind of un-ignorable hole that resoling can't cure. A hole that will not allow me to happily splash in puddles with dry feet. Or at least with a dry right foot. A hole in the toe-crease on the top. I've had these boots longer than I've known many close friends. I believe I've actually had these boots longer than ( Read more... )

The director's cut of Donnie Darko is playing at the Plaza this weekend.