fyi: it ended 9 days ago. stupid patrick. stupid fucking bad luck. stupid stupid stupid me! This is awful...I really want to go to Chuck's bday because I miss him as a friend only. How can I go when I'm a fucking unlucky trainwreck? This isn't fair....please world just send me the right one for me already. 

17 days till one month...I like him so much...so very much....I'm terrified that I feel more for him than he does for me. Fuck you cory, you've destroyed my trust in men...look at what you've done...just look at what you've fucking done to me. 

I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

I remember when I first lay eyes on him...I thought that he was gorgeous and I listened carefully to pick up clues to see if he was single. I froze at his name...the same as someone I loved more deeply than I have ever loved ( Read more... )

Rest in Peace Charles Nelson Holbrook.

The person I knew is truly dead

He dumped me on Valentines day...this is the worst thing that anyone has ever done to me...and beyond the most selfish. I miss Chuck...god I found the ring the other day...I didn't lose it afterall my Dad just had it hidden away. I keep crying...I can't fucking believe what Cory said to me....I almost puked...now I live by swallowing pills during ( Read more... )

10 days away from the one month mark...6 from his birthday.....12  till vday.

Anyways I think I got red hair dye in my eye...it's all red and it hasn't stopped hurting for a few hours.ouch :( My hair is this lovely red-black combo (cliche but whatever)....today is my day....it is going to be perfect fucking perfect/

<3

so I'm on a dizzying new chemical cocktail and have been given perscription sleeping pills that  fairest Juliet  would have killed for.  I should start feeling better soon since at last my brain should be done growing and all those uneven chemicals caused by premature birth will finally have the right dosage hooked up to them.  I'm already kinda ( Read more... )

Dear Diary,

Today I made him mine <3. I asked him out and he blushed like a little schoolboy <3 because yours truly beat him to the punch.
My wish came true.....I now have Cory all to myself, because really those other boys didn't stand a fucking chance against him.

please please please let me not screw this date on Sat up. This is crazy....out of all the men after me I'm willing to drop them all on the spot and go for him. wtf ali!?