There is that brief moment, from time to time, when you're in my arms and we're laughing at the same fucked up shit, that things seem pretty alright. It ends too soon though ( Read more... )

May has officially sucked so far. Had a lot of potential too.

Evidently, despite all I have improved, I still cannot break this fucking cycle.

What the fuck more will it take.

Seriously, this is kind of more then a little fucked.

Die die die die die.

Ok, back to my booze. Fuck it all.

Hey look at me, I'm gonna go be really fucking stupid again!

That's right God, I still have not gotten the hint. Please smash me in the fucking face with another fucked up situation please so I can start right back over again hohoho.

In other news; At least work is going well. Though I'm getting slightly bored. Only slightly though.

"Floating away: I think I'll stay, as refused.
Finding a way to make the loss seem new.
Floating away: I thing I'll change, next to you.
Finding a way to make the loss, seem new.
'Cause you don't deserve me.
But I deserve you."

My anxiety and impatience is stressing me out so bad, that I even dreamed about it last night. The emotions themselves, not the situation(this time)

I can't remember the context and the details. I often forget what I dream. But I remember being accused of impatience like it was a crime, and me pleading guilty. Kind of weird.

Seriously. Anytime I go to cook there is a 90% chance my roommate will come downstairs and commence cooking at the same time as me, immediately getting in my way. It's uncanny. I think he waits till I start cooking to do it. And if he isn't hungry, he'll start doing dishes while I'm cooking instead.

I need to find something to cheer me up. I've been in a shitty mood for weeks. Shittier then usual even.

True story, a few nights ago I was so drunk I forgot how old I was and was afraid I was turning 30.

Man, I remember when I used to make a big deal out of every birthday. Big parties and everything. Now it's just another fucking day. Who knows though. Just because I have no plans doesn't mean it's going to be boring for sure.

We expected something, something better than before. We expected something more ( Read more... )