365 days later... here I am. I didn't think I would make it but sure enough, I did. Today was a really hard day. A lot harder than I thought. I thought hopsice would be the only ones to remember but I was wrong. I was glad to ge that phone call from Matt, get that note and bread from Jackie, that text from Katherine, that run in with Laurin ( Read more... )

Sometimes my grandpa can really be an insensitive ass. Don't get me wrong, I love him and all but he really pisses me off sometimes. He kept asking me if I was okay last night because he knew that I was upset and I open up to him and he says such mean things to me. He told me I was reminding him of my mother. If he ever says that to me, I go ( Read more... )

I haven't been able to sleep the past few nights. All I have been doing is just laying awake while thoughts run through my mind. If I do fall asleep, all I do is have nightmares. My grandpa and I were both awake with terrible thoughts running through our minds. It wasn't even a full moon out last night. My heart is broken right now. I don't ( Read more... )

Tonight was so lovely. First Salina and I went to see Shark Tale which was so awesome! Then I dropped her off and went to pick up Brittany. We went to aromas..... WITHOUT BRIANNA!.... we ran into cleo and chelsea and so many other people we knew. When we got our coffee and I was done talking to Chelsea, we walked around downtown forever. it ( Read more... )

Today was a tough day for my co-worker. Not only was it a Friday... but it was a bad one. We got the usual "oh hey baby tgif" from cory @ the vallejo home depot... got taken out to lunch and peter brought us a big bag of salt water taffy which i love because it reminds me of going to the beach... but it just sucked. She let her boyfriend take ( Read more... )

So... I have next to me three check with my name on it. What a day for money. Let me tell you... hard work really does pay off. I got my paycheck which was an enourmous amount of money... a check from the jc which is a LOT of money... and a check from pa. ahhhh i'm lovin it. I'm so excited about my Christmas party at work! I can't believe ( Read more... )

My subject is exactly what I feel righ tnow. I feel like I'm trying to fit a circle into a square right now. I'm trying to do what I feel is right but it is so hard. It's hard to even determine what is right and wrong. I don't know what I feel anymore. All of a sudden everything is just changing. Part of me still wants to get out of here. I ( Read more... )

I am listening to Enya "Only in Time" for the first time since my grandma's funeral. As soon as I heard the first note I started balling. I can't believe that this is really my life. My mother is gone. This pain is never going to go away and it's never going to get better. I remember that day so well. November 1, 2003. As soon as this song ( Read more... )

I don't know who to believe about anything anymore. Everyone says this, and everyone says that. You just can't trust anyone these days. I'm kind of lost with everything. I don't know what I feel anymore. I'm so confused and lost. One minute I feel like this, another I feel like that. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. Part of me feels so ( Read more... )

I don't know why but yesterday I was in an extremely good mood. My life is school, work, homework, me, and Pa. That's the way it should be I guess. I'm happy with what I have. I don't have any distractions to take me away from the important things in life. My grandpa told me last night that he hasn't seen me happy in two year. I find that ( Read more... )