I have to keep reminding myself, "quit feeling so damn sorry for yourself."

sigh... it's exhausting to think about... at all.

A couple of weeks ago I decided I'd had enough! My can opener was probably older than I was. I thought maybe I'd been clamping it wrong or that maybe tuna cans are always a pain due to their low profile. But when I started being late to things because I was struggling so much opening my cans, I decided it was time to get a new can opener. So I ( Read more... )

We were stuck in traffic, me and what could have been hundreds of other people, and the lady from the car in front of me hopped out of her car, walked over to my window and asked for directions. Just then the traffic in front of us started crawling forward, so I felt rushed and blurted out some directions. Just completely the wrong directions. I ( Read more... )

I swear I wrote this down somewhere before, cuz it probably means something. It's another dream I had. This was a while ago. This should read like a Garrison Keillor story, but without a punchline. I think I posted this somewhere already... I can't find it ( Read more... )

lol, I'd do this on facebook, but then people would probably see it ( Read more... )

I went to the bank for a roll of quarters yesterday. I was going to ask the teller something along the lines of "can I get a roll of quarters?" but I wasn't exactly sure how to ask for a roll of quarters. I wasn't withdrawing them because that would be too much work. I wanted to ask "can I buy a roll of quarters?" but you don't really buy a roll ( Read more... )

Walp, my career in show business is over. I'm never doing a 5 AM radio show ever again. What a terrible idea that was. What a terrible idea it is to be awake at 5 AM ( Read more... )

Who knew Jos. A. Bank wasn't actually a bank ( Read more... )

I'm still waiting to walk into a final, with everyone anxiously waiting for The Professor to hand out the exams, and as the clock hits the start time, The Professor announces: "SURPRISE! NO FINAL EXAM!" I might've posted this before ( Read more... )

lection day journal ( Read more... )