was going on my way somewhere today.  I don't even remember where.  That tells you how sane I am these days.  I was so sad i started to cry.  How pathetic.  it's a hot ass day.  I was suppose to hang out with Josh.  He wanted to go watch the surf stuff going on at HB.  I don't even know why I'm so bummed out. Well maybe part of it is that my Dad is ( Read more... )

Oh gosh I have never been this EMO. I mean I just wanna listen to all this Dashboard and Elliot Smith and literally sit in the dark. I was talking to Josh for an hour. We're definitely gonna be going out or something. I should be excited. It's gonna be my first relationship in a long while. Im still worried about having to give a bigger answer to ( Read more... )

Another day again.  Josh called.  He's been asking very difficult questions that I wish I could give him all the answers to.  We've only known each other for almost a week.  I know what he wants and I know what I want and I don't know how to work in between the lines.  I figured that he'd ask me those things in about 2-3 weeks and I'd get all this ( Read more... )

we went out surfing today.  I'm totally beat up. Afterwards we met up with Josh, Julie, and David and his friend.  It was cool.  So i'm going to prom with josh.  His prom is the same night, but he doesn't mind going to mine so thats really cool.  (Rachel got a date today! It's her cousin's friend Alex who is a babe.)  Lucky girl!  we just hung out ( Read more... )

we threw our party saturday night. 3-4 cases of beers, 4 large bottle sof vodka, and 6 other bottles of something else (captain morgan probably. that was gone before i was able to drink it.) It was a wreck! i mean well the party was fun and hannah drank!!! it was so funny. mary never got her E. There was so much free pot everywhere and i drank ( Read more... )

I've been at the beach the past 5 hours.  I'm so thrashed...again.  I ate shit on two waves. I thought I had them, but I didn't.  Rachel and I are quite tanned. Ok well maybe I am quite tanned.  Rachel still needs some work, but we are determined! We had lunch at Subway down on Main St.  We didn't realize that we looked like crap until we saw ( Read more... )

sunday to tuesday night i was in long beach working at the hospital. Bill wasn't pleased, but i talked him into going with me to buy beer. we drove for the longest time to some weirdo place in ghetto LB to get it. drove with three cases in the trunk and scared to death of getting pulled over. dropped the beer off at rachels house yesterday. her ( Read more... )

People keep asking me later where the hell I'm going for college....uh I'm not going to college? Ok no let's not stoop that low now.  I guess I'm going to CSULB because I can't stand the thought of ever having to live in the 909, but who knows.  UCI hasn't sent me jack so I'm going to assume that they have also rejected my ass.  I honestly haven't ( Read more... )

I think i can't get enough of something
Because there's a big hole in my soul
I'm trying to escape these feelings
But they just won't go

Something big and not replacable
There's definitely a gap of some sort
I turn the music up in my head
Hoping the feelings will just distort

I still can't find a place to esacpe it
And I can't find a place to hide
I've ( Read more... )

Sadies was pretty cool tonight.  A few Edison guys snuck in and Rachel and I danced with one of them.  He was hot.  I gave him my mardi gras beads and a kiss.  (Rachel and I made a deal...I kiss one guy and she wears a skirt and says hi to this guy she likes.)  Did i mention Christy looked fucking HOT???? We curled her hair, threw a plaid Catholic ( Read more... )