I miss him. I know that a relationship with him would never work but all the same I miss him. I want him here so that he could help me make sence of all the things running through my mind. My friends try to help but they are all so caught up in what is going on in their lives that they draw blanks when I tell them about what is going on with me. I ( Read more... )

Sometimes I wish that it would just stop. Everything, right now I really really regret leaving him for Jon. Its not like I think that he and I would have done anybetter I just think that I wouldn't feel like I made a big mistake and I wasted a huge part of my summer.  I hear "he flirts with my all the time" all the time. Everytime I hear it I get ( Read more... )

Today.....the week......this whole month. All of it sucks so badly. I left Jon today. I gave him his ring and told him I would see him around, kissed his cheek and got out of the car. I came in the house and immediately decided that I need a cigarette and seeing as I was out I went down to Bill's. Roxi was sitting there when I walked in.  I sat on ( Read more... )

I'm on the outside, looking in
What do I see?
So much of this left to begin
Where would I be?
I'm on the outside, looking in
Cover me through this night

Guess I don't know what's, left to say
But hear me out
All of the dreams of, yesterday
Keep breaking me down
What's on the outside, can you say
Or am I getting carried away

It's in your mind
It's ( Read more... )

I'm so scared that the way I feel,
Is written all over my face.
When you walk into the room,
I wanna find a hiding place.
We used to laugh, we used to hug, the way that old friends do.
But now, a smile and a touch of your hand,
Just makes me come unglued.
Such a contridiction, do I lie or tell the truth.
Is it fact or fiction,
Oh the way I feel for you.

So ( Read more... )

I saw Clayton today. I saw him and a firey rage flew through my body. I wanted to cry and scream and kill all at the same time. I wanted to run to Jon and to Berry. Two very different people with one thing in common, they care about me. Or at least give the illusion of doing so. I caught myself dialing Berry's number three or four times before I ( Read more... )

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. will you never ( Read more... )

A voice drifts through the receiver. You know its not right but you keep on talking. You smile not because of what he is saying but because of how he sounds. The voice soft and calm and slightly southern. A voice so different yet so the same. You listen not to his words but to the way he says things. All the time knowing that you should just hand ( Read more... )

"be that sam again. you haven't been that sam for a long long time."

that is what I was told not even a month ago, not even. if the friend that had said that could see me now. I am the way that I was when I was "talking" to Berry. Then I got messed up with Kaley and Mike and it all went to hell. Then I used Chris as a transition guy. Every once in ( Read more... )

Hereing about how much pain she was caused. It makes me sad. It makes me want to shake him screaming something about how she gave him nothing but her best and he screwed her over by picking someone else then lying to that someone saying she was just "some girl". You can't fix "some girl" that term stays with you. She was the girl that didn't ( Read more... )