i just got out of a first period coverage. Five more classes to go, 100 children left to see and i am so sedate. The medicine just keeps me in my chair. Cursing, slurs, pushing and i can barely get out of my seat. i'm so tired, its so hard to face the worlds problems at 8:05 in the morning. i'm just supposed to be teaching about art and i end ( Read more... )

i'm so tired... the kids were crazy today. its amazing how frustrating this job is. this class-that normally just kills me, kills me! was driving me crazy!!!!! i cant read, icant write, i cant even talk, they have taken all the patience, strenght and care right out of my body, i need a drink and some really round $&* right now. (on school ( Read more... )

i look like such a fucking goomba in this pick, i need to get a new one. if someone has a nice pick of me could you email it to me? smiles:)

SO i guess i need to make changes about the security of my journal. theres a certain edicate that i hold myself too when i comes to reading others journals. its simple, I only read someone's journal if they invite me to, or i ask them if i can read it. that just seems like the ethical thing to do. words and idea's are possessions, even if they ( Read more... )

Gone Boy

Play boy of the Dawn,
Solid gone!
out all night
until 12-1-2 am
next day
when ye shoud be gone
to work-
dog- gone.
he ain't gone.

by langston Hughes.

I had alot of fear about new years, fear that i wouldnt have fun or be accepted somewhere. thankfully those fears did not come true. Everyone was really sweet to me on New Years. I saw some people i've missed and they greeted me with kindness. That went a long way ( Read more... )

there's this fantacy i want to indulge in for a moment. its something that i know can never happen so i automatically block it out, but when i started to think about it i became so happy i thought i would just share it anyway ( Read more... )

thank you youth pride chior. I put my arm around the man i love, and he put his arm on my leg, we listened to you, and it felt like christmas for us. the "silent night" you gave us, goes a long way. thankyou ( Read more... )

i joined the gym yesturday. thats really going to help me. its going to give me something to do for 1-2 hours at night. its going to make me tired so i'll sleep at night- thats the theory anyway ( Read more... )

i dont need to sleep because i have anxiety to keep me awake.

i dont need to drink coffee, eat or laugh for the same reason.

i am going to have a break down soon ... i cant handle this anymore. its so bad i dont even know whats bothering me anymore. i am afraid to see how much further this can go.