hard to admit that i loved someone like you.

the wound is closing off. the sun is shining brighter.

i'm ready.

i kinda want and don't want to be alone at the same time. do you know what i mean?

"And ever has it been that Love knows not its own depth until the hour of Separation." - Kahil Gibran

It had to end because we were so wrong for each other.

Despite everything, I still think about the good nights. I find myself burying my nose in the other pillow, searching for your smell. Sometimes I reach out to where you used to sleep, wondering if you'd magically solidify again. Just so I could hold you. Kiss you. Smell you. Rest my head on your shoulder.

Just that one more time.

I can't believe I succombed into the delusion that you were really going to change. I can't believe I took you back so easily, thinking you realised you loved me at some point in August. I can't believe I let myself believe you really did care. I can't believe I had feelings for someone who only saw me as a 'really good friend ( Read more... )

I refuse to be with someone who didn't deserve all the things I gave away. None of this desperate attempt to make something meaningful - there wasn't any substance anyway. I'm strong. So strong. I think I can handle this emptiness. I can handle this. I think I can.

but all i want is someone to be silly with, laugh with, hold hands with, cuddle with, sleep without sex with, smile with.

that's all there is.

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Your name comes up on my inbox and suddenly I remember everything.  This is so hard.