Okay, I like it. It's pretty much the most original thing I've written in a long time.
That said, I have to re-write it a lot. The whole first chapter thingy doesn't work. I mean, it's clearly one hell of a zinger but I think it blows my wad too soon, for one, and it doesn't feel like software wrote it.
Put another way, it's one hell of an intro
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