Why did I do that?

[warlord_mit]

I'm sitting here in the Atlanta airport.  As I came up the escalator into my terminal to make my connection I noticed a pair of military men (actually a man and a woman) sitting on the floor on their computers plugged in to power in the wall.  i walked past them for a few steps and then backtracked and invited them into the Delta Crown Room club

Comments

[verdanthe]

Because being kind helps repair the world, and kindness to the less fortunate, particularly when you don't expect any payback, improves life for everyone.

[verdanthe]

That is to say, it's coupled with the acknowledgment that, for you, they are less fortunate (fighting a war is never good for anyone - some it does less harm than it does others, but it's never good), and you pity them, but they don't feel pitied, they feel honored, which is a further kindness you've shown them.
And perhaps you're not necessarily this kind to everyone all the time, which is ok, it's still good to show kindness where and when you can.
At least that's what I can say from what you've said.

[warlord_mit]

Well, I didn't necessarily look at them as less fortunate. The only pity I really felt was them sitting on a hard floor. Little did I know that there were a hundred troops in the terminal (I saw them all later). Still it did feel good (in retrospect) to do something for them even though I believe the war is wrong and has done much more harm than good both here and abroad. But I kept those feeling to myself which is probably why I was so conflicted earlier.

[geoffroi]

I had a similar thing happen this week.

One of my students at a driving school is a vet from Iraq. His last job was guarding the house of Ambassador Ryan Crocker. He had major car problems and as a result didn't get any track time his first day out. I offered to instruct him the 2nd day (on what should have just been free time for me). All of the instructors & club officials kept telling me that I didn't need to do that....

I'm totally against the war, and think it's done a terrible terrible thing both there and here, but I also know we've put our soldiers in a terrible position. I guess I felt like it was good to pay that back.

I'm glad you found a way to do the same....

[warlord_mit]

Thanks for the vote of confidence :)

[vibrantabyss]

support the troops, not the war, and both of these are ways to do that

[warlord_mit]

Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel.

[surrealestate]

I don't see any reason for you to feel two-faced about it or believe yourself wrong.

If they'd been a friendly-looking civilian couple computing uncomfortably, might you have asked them in as well? If so, why should you feel badly about giving these two the same treatment? Or do you feel like you gave them special treatment because of the uniform and feel weird about that?

As for why he is going back for a third tour, he may not have another option besides asking for a discharge, and there's no guarantee they would even give him one.

[beth_leonard]

I'm currently visiting my brother in wa state because he's shipping out for his third tour next month. I summarized your problem for him and asked him how he thought the military guys would have felt. He said thney'd probably feel lucky, and grateful.

My guess is that you are out of your comfort zone, and that is, in itself uncomfortable. Like serving food in a homeless shelter, the first time feels really weird, uncomfortable. But if you do it regularly, it ceases to feel odd.

--Beth

[warlord_mit]

Yeah, I think part of it is that, and part of it is the disparity between supporting the troops but disproving of the war. *shrugs*

I wish your brother a quick and safe return.

[beth_leonard]

I wish your brother a quick and safe return.He's lucky enough to be leaving after August 1 instead of before it, which means it's a 12 month tour instead of 15. It's his third tour of the war, but his first since his daughter has been born 23 months ago