I'm still very sick, and it's worsened. I'm in very serious condition right now, and I don't know what's going to happen. I've seen two doctors, neither of which helped at all -- I'm going back to the second doctor tomorrow to see if she can do any more for me, but if not.. I don't know, I may need to go to a hospital (which is worthless, because ( Read more... )

This is the sickest I have been in such a long fucking time. Fever, sweating, sore throat, the most painful cough you could ever imagine, strange colorations of phlegm, etc. This is just brutal. I hate this shit, man. It's been going on for like, five days now, and it seems that there is no ending coming any time soon to it. I hope I get ( Read more... )

Sometimes, I just don't give a fuck what provokation there is; certain things should never be used against someone, and one of those certain things got used today. I try my best not to lowblow, and even if I do say some rude things, so do you. You say just as much foul shit as I do, if not more (NOT including your vicious lowblows), yet I have to ( Read more... )

The pressure keeps building, until finally, I snap. It's as if more weight gradually gets slipped onto my back without my notice until suddenly, I collapse. I don't need this life anymore. I don't need this fucking wasted borrowed body if it only means the mundane. I have struggled with this ever since I can remember (as have we all, I know), ( Read more... )

The human mind is such an interesting thing, I think. I don't know what made me want to put that down; there was no interesting occurrence that led me to that conclusion, but I think the human mind is very interesting indeed. There are such brilliant people out there, and there are such moronic people as well; there are such sane and composed ( Read more... )

You know, what a fucking time I've been having. Really. School is such fucking bullshit, my life is turning into a fucking primordial soup, I don't know what the deal is with Maria and I right now, I'm more and more sleep-deprived every day, and it all will only end for a week, only to jump-start the fuck back up. I have a lot more to get off my ( Read more... )

This is such randomness, but I really love where I live. It's so cool here. Idk, Maria doesn't like it as much in this neighborhood as I do, but I really love it here. It's always got something going on. There's always people out hanging around, instead of just being in their houses separated from the community all day. There's always an ice ( Read more... )

My dad's in California with me right now. I should be happy, but I'm not. I guess that makes me terribly selfish, but I can't help it. This just has me beat again. I can't get it off my shoulders, no matter how hard I try. It seems like it's becoming a burden, too. Maria doesn't seem too happy about it -- it just upsets her when I get in my " ( Read more... )

My grandfather passed on the 19th. He was the last of my grandparents that was alive. Death is such a hard thing for me to grasp even now that I have lost so much family. On one hand, I know the obvious, "My grandfather is dead." Yet, it's so hard to comprehend that I'll probably not be having anymore family dinners, since my grandparents were ( Read more... )

What the fuck, man? Seriously, I have no idea what the fuck I'm even doing anymore. I'm at a University I now feel I can't get through for the life of me, I'm in a major that I don't mind but that isn't my passion in life, I'm fucking scared to death to step into the real world completely, and all the while I see myself constantly in five to ten ( Read more... )