This is the message that I sent to Brandon at 1 am this morning to apologize to him about our argument on Friday morning...

I just wanted to say Im sorry. If you still want to talk about things we can, but Im sure you hate me for the things ive said recently, and you have every right to..
you probably feel the same as I do that we can not be friends ( Read more... )

I know its been awhile and a lot has happened recently. As angry and irrational as I have been about life, especially between me and...Brandon...here I sit hoping to bring closure to this matter, at least for myself. As illogical, to me it seems, as his decision for change was, Ive thought about it and know what it is that we must do. It is rather ( Read more... )

its been awhile since ive posted anything. in fact, its been little over a month. hmm... at the moment im kinda craving a pretzel with mustard. hehe. yeah. im sick of living at my house. its become so infested with mice its disgusting. they poop everywhere, including on the towels and on my bed and it just makes me feel so disgustipated. blah. dad ( Read more... )

Here i lay uncomfortable on my bed talking to brandon about life....both unable to sleep. why ive decided to write i really have no clue. it just feels necessary. its a new year 2009 yet everything seems the same. Inbetween euphoria and disphoria....partly cloudy with distant storm clouds...anyways enough with the metaphors ( Read more... )

So, I am taking small steps to improve my life. I am using Brandons wonderful advice of making goals and awarding myself when I have reached them. Ive become tired of being in a rut and feeling down all the time and now I am trying to turn things around. Im just going to type a list of different things, in no particular order just to get things ( Read more... )

Even though I have a headache and know that I need to go to sleep, I cant. For the past few nights ive been having not so great dreams. The dreams, or i should say nightmares, from last night really affected me today. I dreamt that the world was ending and everyone was turning into zombies. I hate zombies. Zombies are my least favorite kind of ( Read more... )

someone please tell me that I am worth something ( Read more... )

seriously ( Read more... )

Im kinda excited to be on what I have dubbed as my "Not-so-new new laptop". Yes! Its been awhile since Ive received any new type of technology. I think the last new thing I got was my phone and that was over a year ago. Yeah ( Read more... )

why is it everytime I have a mental break down, I just wish I would die?

the world wouldnt change anyways...

yeah...

Im just going to go to bed...hoping that I will never wake up again. Ever.