They didn't invite me, do I have to invite their partner?

[contradictz]

There've been a couple of weddings where I've not been invited as a +1 to a wedding where my partner was (quite good) friends with one or both of the couple. Mind you, we've been in a relationship since 2009 and engaged since July 2012. I found it really rude that I wasn't invited. Would it now be rude if I said no to inviting a +1 to those friends

Comments

[princessoops]

You're not obligated to invite anyone, but I do think it would be kind of rude to not invite partners in couples just as a means of reciprocating their rudeness. I would suggest making an across-the-board rule regarding +1's and sticking to it. For example, if you decide to invite only partners who have been together for a certain period time, you should invite anyone who fits that rule with their partner, regardless of if they invited you to their wedding.

[mariah00]

Etiquette says that married couples are one social unit and should both be invited to weddings. Both should also be listed on the invite (ex. John & Betty Smith, or Mr. & Mrs. Smith, or Mr. & Mrs. John Smith) NOT John Smith +1.
One of my really good friends was married to a huge jackass when I got engaged. She knew I couldn't stand him but I had both of them on my guest list. Thankfully by the time I was sending out invites they had separated.

[lissiehoya]

This. If they're married, both are invited and neither is considered a +1. Beyond that, decide what you want to consider as +1s, make a rule, and stick to it for everyone else.

[blueirisheyez]

Agreed.

[sailorgarnet]

yep.

[lalanav]

While you're not obligated to invite anyone, it is incredibly rude to separate a social unit (i.e., a married couple), particularly if it's for something as petty as 'revenge'. Two wrongs don't make a right, and when space and/or money is extremely limited, some couples have to make cuts that they might not want to (like, inviting only the original friend as opposed to a non-spouse significant other). If you want to go down the childish route, feel free, because after all, it is your wedding - but be prepared for those friendships to start dissipating, because again - it's very rude. Don't start your marriage with vindictiveness in the mix.

[blueirisheyez]

Well said.

[contradictz]

Thanks. I will suck it up and invite them instead of trying to be petty about it. I guess I just needed a little rant/whinge..especially when I knew space/money was not an issue for either of the times it happened.

[looloosmells]

it's YOUR day. be immature if you want to. who cares about etiquette. they weren't nice enough to invite you, so don't invite them.. end rant.

[roseofjuly]

How long ago are these weddings? A lot of people don't do +1s not to be mean or spiteful, but simply because of cost constraints.

I agree with everyone else - if they are married, you need to invite them together. Also, you really need to let this go.