Tea, and the time it takes to drink it. balanceing on curbs. dinners that take three hours. Museums and the people who go to them. music, and the people who bother to truely listen. Silent films. films. Family. un-conditional love. The kind of conversations that get you so riled up that you are balanceing on the edge of your seat drinking in what ( Read more... )

I have loaded this thing up to write at least twice a month since my last entry and always when I went to type there was nothing but static in my head. The static is starting to clear and whati am finding is levels emotion that have to be dealt with. More then I know what to do with I miss my grandmother. It hits me at the strangest times. I will ( Read more... )

Falling down the rabit hole so fast I don't even feel the wind. Hands try to grab to save me from the harsh reality of gravity but I have been falling for so long I don't know which way is up and which is down and I'm not so afraid of hitting the ground. I'm chaising a waist coated rabbit of my own making, and his clock is always ticking and I am ( Read more... )

I am slowly but surely pulling myself together. Many people who have known me for a while are shocked at my change of clothes and my differing style but those who know me well know that this an uncovering. The uncovering of a self I have always wanted to be but have never ha th guts. With each day I realine my prioritys and am learning to recognize ( Read more... )

SO for the past few weeks I have been allowing myself to dwell in my darker parts. I should say Myself because I promise there is more dark then light, so it would be more appropriate for me to term it as cease in my struggle to stay in the light. I released myself back into the dark. This means in the real world, Passive agressive behavior, breaks ( Read more... )

i just found out that I will not be able to do summer theater program I have been trying to do for three summers yet again. The summer intensive falls over the same week as my cousins wedding at which I am a maid of honor. up until now I thought they would keep the schedual the same as last year but they changed by a month. So there goes that. It ( Read more... )

I look at pictures and it seems a year is pasing in every month. So many things are happening at one time that things not to long ago look like memorys from a different age. And they are. We get older everyday. this sounds depressing but it's not, it is a more a simple fact. There are very few consistency's we can count on in life but the fact that ( Read more... )

but you wanted to pick and choose ( Read more... )

Reading through my last post I am bored. I have stated the same thing for so long. I fear and pity anyone who bothers to go through all my old posts because there is an obvious trend. On to different things. Thank the stars for true friends. during a night of break down I was explaining to a dear friend how Helioside and I have a few mantra's and ( Read more... )

I sleep naked some times just to remember what vulnerable is. I pick at my skin because I desperately want to be smooth. I eat to much of what I shouldn't because I love taste and the sensation of being full. I hate my body because it wont do what I want it to. I am tired alot and I don't know why. I am not following my career though I am trying in ( Read more... )