hm, so...where to start...sometimes my head is on straight and i feel good and stable. other times i have these weird anxiety based breakdowns and totally freak out. lately it's been about half and half. i went to new york this past weekend. it was a lot of fun. went to coney island, saw the raveonettes & built to spill. missed spank rock however. ( Read more... )

Is Christmas really this week? Are you kidding? Wow, time is flying by. Nothing too new, school, work, repeat. Ya know. Emotionally I've been up and down lately. Some days are really, really good, and I'm very happy. But at the same time, others are down, down, down and the way I feel on those days is worse than I think I can describe in writing ( Read more... )

I feel very defeated right now. I don't think I have ever known what it is like to try so hard to please someone, and constantly have them tell me it's not enough. Mistakes from the past linger, and cannot be forgotten. I am tired, I am trying, I am not asking for forgiveness. But I am asking for another to open their eyes and see that I truly care ( Read more... )

Last night I fell asleep with tears in my eyes because I really miss Randy. He has been on my mind 24/7 and I'm starting to feel a little insane. Then when I finally fell asleep I had the most realistic dream I've ever had about him. Although what happened in my dream is impossible, it seemed 100% real. Randy was with me again and we were driving ( Read more... )

So, the last week has been terrible. Possibly one of the worst I've experienced. I have been bombarded by multiple petty problems and annoyances, but nothing even comes close to the news i found out a couple days ago. Like, are you KIDDING ME? The boy i admired when i was fifteen and basically idolized has passed away? Words cannot express what I ( Read more... )

my heart hurts. i don't understand people, or the way they work. what happened, happened, and now is done. so why must you keep talking to me? or actually come in physical contact with me? and why am i the one who gets yelled at? when it's all YOU YOU YOU. you lie to others to cover your own back. it's sad, for me, and for you, because i don't know ( Read more... )

An incredible amount of things has happened in last last four months. My life is chaotic and actually pretty annoying at times, but I am dealing with it. My boyfriend always has my back. I love knowing that ( Read more... )

yikes, i don't care what anyone says; i love the blood brothers ( Read more... )

Who was I to think something like that would last ( Read more... )

I have my best friend back. YES YES YES! I am so excited. YES YES YES! The goofyness and unstopable laughter is back, the talks and opinion giving is back. And I don't care what anyone thinks, we're friends and I am so happy. Best talk ever took place the other day and afterwards I thought about how truly thankful I am to have someone, other than ( Read more... )