i am fighting, with every cell in my body, the urge to call anthony. i want him to comfort me because i know he can. which... utterly confuses me.

at least there's Superbad this weekend.

dear you who no longer cares. dear becca who stopped pretending ( Read more... )

i just keep thinking, "does he like this song?" "is he excited about the new cd?" "will he be at the next show i go to?" i fucking hate it. you won't leave. i hate you for taking matchbox twenty away from me ( Read more... )

the whole world is going to hell.

even matchbox says so.

my other journal won't let me log in. i'm kind of freaking out. have i been hacked or something?
but anyway, this verse pretty much sums up my life right now.

i'm covered by lovers who recite lines
convinced that their bodies are gonna save mine
but you don't know me at all

i'm back in a big matt phase.

ever have one of those nights when you realize you're a horrible person living in an even worse world? when your job feels like it'll be the death of you, and you wouldn't mind if only you could get a swing in first? when the people around you don't care enough for you to really let them in? when finding the will to get up takes too much energy to ( Read more... )

don't kick me for being cliche or whatever, but i actually do feel older now. like this is it, this is me, and this is life. like there's no more stalling, and i'm not only comfortable with that, but excited. like this is my time, and these are my decisions, and the responsibility resting on me is actually exhilarating. because i can handle it.

tulsa.

linkin park. mother's day.

daytona.

may is gonna rock. oh, to be 21.

michelle, tell me you're free tuesday.

new boy, new job, new apartment. new energy. very few aspects of all the things new in my life make sense, and yet, i find myself not caring. so what, as long as it works. and if it doesn't work, then hey, something else new. i don't know. don't try to break my spirit, not just yet.

growing up only sucks for one reason: you have to stop being selfish ( Read more... )