sometime, i'm going to lay you down on your stomach and drip hot candles over the entirety of your naked back

life's not a bitch, life's a beautiful woman that only loves you when you're smart, rich, and talented or something--sometimes she'll let you trade your words for some pussy and if you listen close, you'll find out her name is Lucy...

click to n`large.

i don't even have to be obvious anymore. what i say, it doesn't need explanation anymore. results are shit. RESULTS ARE SHIT! THERE ARE NO FUCKING RESULTS! SO CHANGE! And here, I shall explain to ye how...

I don't feel the suns comin' out today
its staying in, its gonna find another way.
As I sit here in this misery, I don't
think I'll ever see ( Read more... )

should Joe slam two beers?

If I steal his lighter, he'll be sure to slam them--UGH, CRACK, FFiZZZZZZZZ, GULGULGULGULGULGUL, and!--s. ola. ce....

The problems with wearing corrective contact lenses are all the restrictions that seem to go along with them. In this case, it's a sticky, junked-out pink eye set on the left side of my otherwise ( Read more... )

when three o'clock a.m. rolls around, you have exactly four things on your mind. i will discuss in short and in full what these four things are. first, i'd like to make it a point to individually wrap each cupcake up in cellophane.

so number 1)
    two days ago, you had to fart really bad, but since you were in a meeting,
    the justice wasn't ( Read more... )

first and foremost, in all of its esteemed glory


( Read more... )