There was a moment I could have stayed in forever, peaceful yet not quiet. My stomach churns. It bothers me until it doesn't, until I laugh. Wrapped in arms that don't belong to me. A moment ( Read more... )

I'm already gone now, you were outside just waiting ( Read more... )

Now, I have discovered. Make the best of this. I will find happiness in moments. I will not live for a future uncertain. Make the best I am capable. Shake the past and leave it there. Try to forget, move on.

And anyway what I was saying, it makes sense we are no good at being mothers. This bloodline is ill equipped.

I am alone tonight for the first time. Physically, I should clarify. I have been a single mom with a roommate for a baby daddy for a very long time. We are not roommates any more.

For all intensive purposes my peephole should have closed at some point during the business of birthing. Its true. Genetic disposition, a flaw in the Darwin evolution of things, or maybe not, maybe a population control adaptation we have since made obsolete. Once should have been that's that and a village would have raised my motherless child and ( Read more... )

As a Gemini it is my cross to bare, this feeling of inadequate surrounding, something else is better, suits me better, makes me feel better. We are always reinventing ourselves until something happens and we can't. Life happens unforeseeably. And then I think, when it happens, we run. Or we can't run and we get stuck. I don't know what happens ( Read more... )

Its not fucking fair im always rescuing everyone else from something, themselves I need some fucking help too god dammit somebody fucking rescue me

Dysphoria sets in, overcomes. Panic follows, panic like an anchor on my neck, shackled and cuffed, gagged and bound. Panic squeezes tight my heart, shallow beating. Panic deflates lungs. Panic playing puppeteer with muscles. Panic pulling brain circuits, makes me louder than I am and quieter than I think. Panic dancing on my shoulder makes me laugh ( Read more... )

Apparently I am the only person on the planet who remembers "they say its your birthday... but I don't believe them! This is for you jane." From Daria.

I wonder if I could kick it with Sid Vicious when I die.