Skeptical

[wild_rover]

Do people actually believe in the existence of soul mates anymore? Did such a notion ever actually exist? I don't know if I even believe in the traditional role of "love" and it's components

Comments

[thirdstringpal]

I definitely believe that it's up to timing and context, b/c it all depends on where you end up and life and how much courage you have to pursue the person(s) that you're interested in.

[wild_rover]

That is certainly true. It's often funny how things work out or don't work out. It's never as expected. But at the same time, it also has a lot to do with attitude and current experience. As you say, courage. I'm just wondering if it's worth it. A long-term relationship is one of the most labour-intensive jobs a person can take on. Do such strong emotions and connections one reads about actually exist? I'd like to think so but I just don't know.

Thanks for your comments!

[benedorm]

Love -- "true love," even -- is certainly a real feeling. But anyone who thinks there's only one person out there for them is kidding themselves. Just think of the logistical problems...

Chance certainly has something to do with it -- you can't work outside of whatever context you're in. But within those boundaries, I've always figured love was a choice too.

[wild_rover]

We are in agreement there. With over 6 billion people in the world, it just doesn't make sense. Failing that, if the one soul mate theory is true, what are the chances of ever meeting said person? Or what are the chances of meeting and said person is available and acessible? Not a Tibetan monk, for instance.

You're right; love is a choice. A very difficult one as it's one of the greatest risks. There are times when it is even harder than others. But what then of people who claim to have "known" right away that their partner was "the one"?

[comingupnext]

I'd rather not believe it's up to chance- if that's the case, it seems much more unlikely for it to happen... like winning the lottery. It may be unlikely, but part of me really would like to think that things are sometimes meant to happen. Whether there's only one person out there for us, I'm not sure- but the fact that there seems to be connections felt between people that seems to go beyond the logical and the physical give me the indication that there's something more than we can easily explain.

[wild_rover]

Are there connections like that? This is what I'm questioning. Do people feel bonds to others without explanation? Beyond plain body chemistry?

I don't know anything anymore. I hear it all the time and I'm wondering if there is any validity to this whole theory of finding "the one". If you've had any experience, I'd love to hear about it.

Thanks for your thoughts!

[russophile1977]

I think that there are thousands of people out there that I could be compatible with. Maybe lots of them have passed me by because I was distracted by work, school or problems at home. Maybe another one will come along just when I'm ready for him. I believe it's possible to develop a strong emotional connection with someone, but I don't know if I believe there's such a thing as a "soul mate." The older I get, the less important marriage is to me. Having children has never been important to me. But I'd definitely like to find someone that I could spend the rest of my life with. Definitely not someone to cling to, but just someone to spend time with.

[wild_rover]

I like what you said, "develop(ing) a strong emotional connection". Not feeling it right away. That makes far more sense to me. Love as something that evolves over time.

You're right, with all the people in the world there are bound to be many we'd find similar to what we're looking for. Thousands even. But as you say, distractions keep us from paying attention to the majority of such possibilities.

Let me ask you this, have you ever met someone and right away felt a deep attachment beyond the physical?

[russophile1977]

No, I can't say that I've ever felt an emotional connection with someone right away. First I have to get to know them and see what kind of person they are. Then the emotional attraction develops, then the physical attraction.

[wild_rover]

I agree. I think that's the only way it will ever last or become anything substantial. I like the way you ordered it, intellectual, emotional, and then physical. Perhaps that's where some become confused.

Thanks a million for your responses!

[fozebare]

I don't believe in a perfect match, but several good possibilities. But even those are hard to find.

[wild_rover]

This is true. It takes a lot of searching, for some a lifetime. And even then it remains a great risk. Because how do you know if the person you've chosen is a good possibility?

[fozebare]

And herein lies the dilemma!

[wild_rover]

I have one question for you then I promise I'll leave you alone, put the subject to rest.

What is your definition of love?