I might aswell delete this whole Journal crap, Just now did I relize how much I've lost my sanity... Suiside is bull shit. Not happening.

I havn't talked about this atall, cause it breaks me down so bad but... I really miss Gwen right now... Ever since he passed away. It's all been so differnet. :'[

I had someone to hold on to.


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Im reminded every day of the lose of my children. I can't beleive at such a younge age, I would be giving birth to twins... But god. Took them away from me. If there is such a god. Why am I being tortured? Why am I going through this? And why must I suffer? What did I do wrong to deserve this... Its been almost 2 mounths since I had the miscarrige ( Read more... )

Just want to kill myself :]
I'd all be better!

There comes a time in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, and who always will. So I don't worry about the people from the past, because there is a reason they dont make it into my future...

I lost my child ='[ ANd the father... I feel like Im slowly dying, being decayed, little by little... Then seeing him, calling me a baby killer like I ment for our baby girl to die, eats me alive, haunting me every god damn night. I need a true friend right now. Then Im so scared of touchin something or someone and fuckin it up like I ALWAYS DO ( Read more... )

Well, I can't tell too many people yet, [But I get to write it in here cause I can't fuckin say shit] We'll not only is my ex gf pregnant... But it turns out, I took TWO fuckin pregnancy test and they came out positive... I need to go to the doctor... I don't know how, or when, but If I don't... FUCK! Plus on top of that, I smoke like a pack a day ( Read more... )

can I die now?

People keep trying to tear me down.
Nine mounths outta school ANd Im back again.
They use what happend to me against me,
and what I did in the past they hold to me...
I can't take it.
&& theres not much I can do.
Atleast I'll be leaving on the 5th of July :)