I found out that I am getting my promotion at work. I am happy about it, it will be only a dollar raise, but anything is helpful. I really like work somedays and others its just too much for me to handle. But I suppose thats how it is with everything in my life for me. Things that seem so easy and simple one day are extremly complicated and ( Read more... )

i thought for a second that someone had a genuine concern, but i asked too many questions and i found out the truth. it was a concern for those around me rather than for myself. a fear for my hurting others not a fear of me hurting myself. it felt like a betrayl, and i don't know why. i should be used to this by now. why am i not used to this? why ( Read more... )

I try to remain hopeful, for some reason I rarely lose my hope. Sometimes I wish I would, I feel as if I would get let down less or that things would just be easier if I didn't have hope. People are so ridiculous. Why do we lie to each other, why do we avoid each other, why do we hurt each other? The truth will set us free. Why can't we just say ( Read more... )

i need to move out. i can't do this for much longer. it is ridiculous. i am 22 years old. i can no longer live at home. i've been apartment searching but of course there are no one bedroom apartments that are within my price range, and i don't any roommate prospects anymore. i'm not sure what to do. i guess i'm stuck at home.... i don't know how ( Read more... )

1. If you had to choose being blind or deaf, what would you choose and why? deaf. i could live without noise and there are other ways to communicate than through speech and there are so many things and places in the world that i still want to see ( Read more... )

everything seems to be going fairly smoothly, for today anyways ( Read more... )

i'm sick of when certain people who are supposed to care about you don't. i guess things that are supposed to link you to people don't really link you to them. i've learned that a lot in my life. it saddens me a lot. i know that when i am older and out of my house and living my own life that i am probably not going to speak to certain people. one ( Read more... )

i just don't know what i want to do anymore. i don't know if anything can be done anymore. my doctors tell me i need to move out. but i just dont' see that making the sort of impact that they think that it will. what does anything matter anymore. i don't know anymore. what anything is for. why i am doing anything. why i get out of bed. why i make ( Read more... )

i was just reading some things i had written and saved on my computer from a few years back. just reading them and not knowing the date or the context of at what point in my life they were from i had no idea who or what i was talking about. there was a number of people i could have been talking about, a number of senarios, a number of circumstances ( Read more... )

i didn't know it was possible to feel this dead inside. i didn't think i could get any more numb than i already was.