Hey Jay,

Good morning. It's good to speak to you. I didn't sleep a lot last night. That's okay. I'll catch a nap later today!

I hope we go to the mall today. I'd like to buy some stuff. Just for fun. I don't have a ton of fun stuff to do here. A new journal would be nice. I wonder if there is a Barnes & Noble anywhere nearby.

I've arranged to do a ( Read more... )

Alister,

I am writing you a letter. It's the letter "U", because I feel like it gets overlooked. The legitimacy of it! Look at it!

U

Anyway, now that my humor has dried up, how are you? I miss sparing with you. I hope that we can do that again some day. You always went soft on me. Perhaps we can draw blood next time...

I also miss Dixon, Hudson, ( Read more... )

Hey Jay,

I've been talking to my angels, and I feel happy again. I feel like I have something to help me wake up in the morning. And Audre agreed to come Bible study with me on Tuesdays. Thank you for letting me be friends with my angels. I really feel like its helped a lot <3. It gives me hope, because they are always there, even if I change ( Read more... )

Hey Jay.

Hello, Jordan, How are you?

I wanted to talk to you.

What's on your mind?

I talked to my angels about some stuff... Cea doesn't want to be friends right now, Cale does, and Martin sides more so with Cale. I guess I'm coming to you for your opinion on me being friends with my angels... Since you're my Dad/Husband...

Hmmm... -thinking-

I ( Read more... )

Hey Jay,

I talked to my social worker. She's cool. I like her. Her name is Lacee.

She was talking to me about getting out socializing more, so I'm gonna try to get out a little more. I like to sleep, but I know too much of it isn't exactly great for me. It's just been hard since Caleb... and I am worried about Caleb working with Patrick. It scares ( Read more... )

Jay,

I'm really struggling with thoughts about Cale... I know I am supposed to release him to you, but its a real challenge. I think about him a lot. I think about meeting him in heaven. I think about sex with him. I just... think about him.

I know I need to be focused on Patrick right now. And Cale technically isn't a threat right now... but he is ( Read more... )

Hey Jay,

So, I figured since I am going to become a novelist, I should probably get used to writing every day. Even if its just a short poem. So, here we go:

She quivered at the touch
With her finger tips
Her heart so raw and bare
Because she knew once she took the mic
Her eyes would become like glass
And all would become aware.

Not bad for just off the ( Read more... )

Jay,

I saw a post in my notifications that I've had LJ for 14 years. That means you and I have been together for 14 years... We should celebrate. I know you were just here the other day, but I'd like to invite you to join me while doing something. You can attend in the Holy Spirit, or in person silently, but I'd love to see/feel you with me. It's ( Read more... )

Jay,

I've been looking back lately... back on things you've done for me, on old journal entries, on where I've been... and I am so fucking proud.

I don't know if I have ever felt this sincere, pure sense of pride before that isn't even corrupted. I don't feel proud of myself compared to anyone else. I feel proud of myself compared to past me. And ( Read more... )

Self,

I've been feeling overwhelmed. This is what I've signed myself up for. I am collecting my thoughts.

• Establish a morning routine
• Lose 70lbs
• Get certification
• Get better at selling D2D

Actually, most of this looks like it's embedded in my morning routine...

Morning Routine

• Wake Up/Toilet/Fiber Water