"homosexually prepared pizza" -posted on one of my boards

siriaeve posted "The expression on my face right now? It's special."

"You could just tell her she's making the biggest mistake of her life, and then you won't have to go!" -Kelly's tried and true method of getting out of going to a baby shower.

"That's the part that snaps my belief-string every time I read it."

"I'm finding it very hard to picture him as a child of God." -Kelly, describing a person that I would call a degenerate scumbag asshat.

peachdancer82 posted "*gets out porn poms*"

I love it. I think I may love her as well.

"Do you have any stuff for bath water?" -A man who smelled like he had no idea what a bath was.

*Points out bubble bath, bath salts, etc. throughout the store.* -Me, wasting 5 minutes

"Oh, I never use any of that." -Mr. Stinky

"Duh" -Me, but only in my head

"Everybody pays me by PayPal. It sucks. That's 3% off the top. Good thing I'm gouging them or it might really bug me." -John

"There isn't anything you CAN do." -Me, to Steve

"I could offer you a sexual favor, but I don't think that'd help." -Steve, being insightful

"Mike is stupid and he pisses me off on a regular basis." -Steve, on why he quotes high for a certain customer.