Prologue to my book !!PLEASE READ AND COMMENT!!

[writeaholic707]

The dock was cold like the water is was submerged in. The girl no older than nine stood with her feet covered in water, watching the sunset. She wore a long lavender dress which hem skimmed the top of the water as it moved about her legs in the breeze. The girl had fair features and hair as black as coal that matched her equally dark brown eyes.

Comments

AWESOME!

[anonymous]

That is one of the best prolouges to a book i have ever read. No joke, i already feel like i can tell the characters emotions and feelings and identify with them! If you publish this book ill buy the first one on the shelf!
~Jon Owen

Re: AWESOME!

[writeaholic707]

dude coming from a great a writer it's a big compliment.

Re: AWESOME!

[writeaholic707]

thanks

I LOVE IT

[qtgirl09]

WRITE MORE WRITE MORE!

you have made me such a proud parent. *tear*
Oh by the way Amanda is your Godmother. lol

[anonymous]

its captivating. i would work on sentence structures and ...i dont know the amount of words used to describe every attribute of everything makes it a more difficult read. dark red hair, warm brown eyes, brown skin, black as coal, dark brown eyes.
Maybe change it up a tad.
but very captivating and quite promising.
Keep going. You have it, just polish it.
you rock

[writeaholic707]

who is this?

[writeaholic707]

thanks ya i noticed a lot of errors too so when i revise it i'm going to change a bit of the wording and run on sentences

[chasawaymytears]

Its extremly goooooooooooooooooooooooooooood. It makes you feel like your there. And it leaves you wanting to more and find out waht happens.

[writeaholic707]

ahhhhhhhhh

AWESOME!

[anonymous]

It's me.

Re: AWESOME!

[writeaholic707]

oh i got all confused Alex don't do that