Today was really good. I kept drinking at work- juice, italian sodas, tea and stuff and felt totally full ( Read more... )

this deals with self-injury/cutting so if it bothers you plz dont read it

( i don't know why i just did what i did. )

still fighting with myself and always, always failing. i gave in and had pitas AND a butter tart at work... i really, really suck. i fucking hate myself sometimes. i want this so bad, and the fact that it's something i could actually HAVE (if i work hard enough) drives me crazy... haha is it bad my desire to be thin is stronger than my desire to ( Read more... )

HA! My boyfriend is ten pounds heavier than me, and 4 inches taller isnt that fucking pathetic?

I really, really suck at this. I don't know why- I was SO driven for a week or so and then it fades, then it comes back, then it fades. I'm going to start taking my green tea pills and hoodia gordonii pills again, and order stuff online when I get my credit card ( Read more... )

I worked out this morning and burned like 200 cals on the eliptical and did some ab work... it's a tough walk to and from the gym too so put that in for another 10 minutes of walking. I'm gonna walk to the grocery store later and get Crystal Light and bouillon cubes. There are some other stores down there, I might check them out for caffiene pills ( Read more... )

This weekend was 100% horrible and I ate SO MUCH. Candy and fast food and ugh I fail. But I'm also kind of glad it happened, because I really did realize I like feeling hungry as opposed to feeling full- feeling full (esp on those foods) grosses me out and oddly enough I feel unhealthy being full. 135, end of November, no excuses.

I've eaten sooooo much this weekend its ridiculous. I'm starting a liquid fast tomorrow because I ate so much crap food and I just feel horrible and fat ( Read more... )

well, fucked up yet AGAIN- breakfast binge, do you believe it? i must have had like 600 cals, at LEAST by the looks of it, so i'm not eating for the rest of the goddamned day, i'll bring my hoodia with me everywhere (i haven't taken it in like 5 days lol) and tomorrow my limit is 300 calories strict. maybe i'll try 300 for this week coming up and ( Read more... )

( Pissed off and saying fuck every other word )