i made the mistake of falling asleep ( Read more... )

ok now that its 7:30am and no word from ryan...
i wonder if hell ever call...

i havent slept...i cant.
i love you

wow ive totally been thinkging about crazy stuff ( Read more... )

he broke up with me again.

i cant fix this anymore.
its your turn.
you tell me what im doing wrong
and ill tell you what you are doing wrong.

everyone ive every loved has "abandoned" me in some way or another. i keep haveing dreams that tell me im scared ryan is going to do the same ( Read more... )

dude kentucky BLOWS.

k, so i get 2 hours of sleep. . .and go to fucking six flags. . .and here it is 12:30 and im WIDE awake. WTF?

today i got a new anclet...its one of the "name on a rice" thingies and it says ryan aww... <3 ( Read more... )

holy shit this is hard. ive got the back done and the right side...its been like an hour and a half...lol.

ive been clinching my teeth all day...its actually starting to hurt my jaw...

getn up and going to six flag in the morning...how gay.
<3

kali is gone. this room is lovely.

katie is going to come see me...and so is kathryn. that makes me happy. so so happy. i love you guys.

i called ryan to ask if his mom would flip if i got him a puppy...he didnt know...and he didnt seem to care. so im not sure if i should even try to see if he wants it...
whatever...
<3

( puppy... )

i feel like no one really cares about me anymore. my mom admited that everything is about her...and she doesnt give a shit how i feel. ryan is always to cought up in everquest to even remember to call me. let alone go afk to have a five min conversation with me. its silence. i had a big breakdown earlier.

ive had it...when i come back im ( Read more... )

i had a weird dream last night ( Read more... )