Jon......

has run out of happy

has fucked up again

hates himself

misses jayna

is a fool

wishes he wasn't so far along in college

wants a ciggarette

wants to go fuckin ape shit and break something

wants to punch a wall

doesn't know what he wants

doesn't know

all the things i want to put in my facebook status.....but i can't.....i have to appear strong. ppl ( Read more... )

I hate UIS......the school not the people. I hate how the philosphy classes are mostly online....i hate the class selection in general. I should've stayed in Evansville......been a philosphy major....had my prof. Dr. Beavers as my mentor. Its sad how you only see the right path only when you look back after uve gone down a wrong one. Can't go back ( Read more... )

 talking with my grandpa........i realized.........Ive wasted so much of my life.....sleeping that is.......ive missed and am missing alot of opprotunities..........sleep.....ive been hiding in fear from my life......fear from what I have to do.....i have been weak......im only half concentrating on this cuz im talking on the phone with my grandpa ( Read more... )

Why do I even write in here? what do I hope to attain? No one looks at this stuff...hardley anyone knows about it..........why do I even write in it? I am wasting my time......wasting my time with contemplation when I could be doing other things.

This has all been a waste. 

i've been told "focus on the present"

but how when we constantly are planning for the future?

says haven't made a post in 4 days.......feels like 4 weeks.....

I have another o/c cycle concerning sexuality ive decided to post....maybe I shouldn't post it....yea......im not.......if you want to read it......ask me

fuck it.......here it is......a cummlation of notes takin over the past weeks i plan to show to my doctor.......

(in reference to my ( Read more... )

So this morning I took a snooze right before my chemistry class. My mom left the house around 9 so i figured in bout a 45 minute sleep. My alarm  was set to 9:40 and like a cock at sunrise, did its duty at when the time came. Grudgingly I came back to consciousness, figured I could sleep another 10 minutes and laid my head back down. In the midst ( Read more... )

 for my eng comp. class i need to write about a community ( Read more... )

So looking in "life" section of live journal. I read a couple entires by a young girl in hs. The girl says she is in love. Haha, i doubt it. But then again, who am i to say what love is? we all assume that love doesn't happen till you get older, who says it can't happen anytime? Anyways, she writing in livejournal......i didn't do this when i was ( Read more... )

Looking through my parents drawers for a stapler I came across a bunch of little quote cards. They say on the front "to your success" or "i believe in you" and inside have a little inspiring quote from somebody. I said to myself, "So this is where they have been coming from. I wonder if they bought them, or got them from my sister. The answer is ( Read more... )