i was told yesterday i push people away. and you know what thats true. its a preemptive strike for me. if i push you away its cause i feel you shove first. but not hard enough to end things so i do it so i can control the hurt i go through. if that makes me selfish fine. this journal is dead. my other is alive and only a few know it i think i'll ( Read more... )

so yesterday was a whole bunch of suck rolled all into one.... started to get ready for the show come down start bullshitting with my mom . her voice sounds funny so me being the callous asshole that i am i poke fun at her a bit... my dad comes up hears my mom goes into to see what the problem is. her eyes are all puffy her whole face is puffy .. ( Read more... )

back in noke for a little while. shorter then i believed before as already noke is becoming stifling and small townish. (which is what i wanted, but i guess i can only take a few days of it before i go stark raving mad.) anyways i'm updating this cause jodi needs to be able to read my inner most thoughts even though i believe she knows me better ( Read more... )

wooooo i can't fucking wait till april moves in. less then a month baby. that shits going to be sweet.

audreys life= utter shit. yea thats right utter shit. best friend i never see anymore well shit i see her but am no longer really included in things. but hey oh well. i can't really talk to anyone about things either which annoys me cause if i actually came out and said what i felt and thought about situations a lynch mob would be formed. you say ( Read more... )

this is going to get ranty so i'm just going to list things that are bugging me to no end ( Read more... )

i just can't fathom running into him. the mere thought of it makes me alternately want to vomit and to cry. stupid shit. i don't understand these feelings. i no longer want him back in any way shape or form but the thought of him being in the same room with me envokes a little sense of panic. i don't need the extra stress in my life that that ( Read more... )

so i ressurected this journal and my other one will slowly die and fade away as soon as i get the html from that one to work on this one. i'm forever needing a change of pace. i really shouldn't be sentimental and read through all the old entries in this shit. but its ok . re reading things that have to do with nate kinda ensures a bit of ( Read more... )

this journal is dead.

7 sins/virtues survey ( Read more... )