so im going to make a list of things i MUST to every time i want to b/p because i am determined to quit ( Read more... )

gah i feel so horrible..im so depressed and i feel so fat...i just want to sleep ALL the time, which is so not like me at all...i havent been going to the gym and i just know ive gained but im too scared to get on the scale coz i know it will spell F-A-T...im working out like crazy tomorrow for sure, and every day for the rest of the week, ive GOT ( Read more... )

never in my life have i felt so horrible about myself...the guy i love more than anything who allegedly "loves" me has somehow managed to make me feel like a skank and a half... the first time i've seen him in 2 months (hes a marine so he is away all the time) and we spend all of 20 mins together, and let me just tell ya at least 5 of it was ( Read more... )

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well i finally reached my goal of 115, 2 days early...so why do i still feel disapointed in myself and fat?? of course my dad's side of the family was over for christmas tonight so i had to eat coz my uncle is a jerk and i didn't want to risk getting comments and of course my chunky butt couldnt resist the pumpkin cake..gah!! its like i do ( Read more... )

when will this plateau end??? i am absolutely determined to be 115 by christmas, i wantd to be 110 but obviosuly my fat ass ruined that somehow...how hard could it have been? but somehow i magange to ruin it like i always ruin evrything...o well im going to bed so i can get up and drag my happy butt to the scale then off to the gym in the morning ( Read more... )

did the fat cow screw up and b/p???............ why yes she did! damn! i was down to 119 and now i don't dare weigh..im giving myself until friday to get back on track then friday morning its back to the scale every morning for me again...why is it that when i do well i somehow screw it up??? im so depressed because im such a failure, but ill keep ( Read more... )

idk how the hck i loct 2 pounds i one day..it must have been playing tennis for almost 2 hours in the freezing cold in a tank top! but i am excited...still a fattie tho..but im feeling more and more motivated..here is my new ticker:
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looks like my getting back on track is finally paying off, thank goodness! i am one of those people who once they set their minds to something there is NO turning back...failure just isnt like me and i dont know what i was thinking letting myself slip like i did before..my goal to be 115 by Christmas, maybe if i work hard enough i can be 110 by ( Read more... )

so im working super hard to stop this cycle of fasts that end with b/p and me HATING myself after..i've got a plan all set up in my mind, and thankfully i've made some really good ana buddies who help me out a lot! although i still feel bad for b/p-ing on sat i have to state how prod of myself i am for my day today: i got up at 5 this morning ( Read more... )