even though I was starting to get sick of the little group of people I spent most of my time with and I missed good food and my own bed and I was getting kind of antsy without the interwebs ( Read more... )

INTERNAL CONFLICTS not really ( Read more... )

One of those days where I just go through every hour trying to remind myself that the day isn't over yet and not to be sad or in a bad mood or anything because you can't say it's a bad day because the day isn't over yet ( Read more... )

freaked out ( Read more... )

isn't really a mental breakdown because I'm not crying yet but I just feel like crying ( Read more... )

Except I don't even know if I'm halfway through recovery yet. And that really bothers me because I just want to go out and feel secure with my friends and be a senior and go to school wtf ( Read more... )

I've always been terrified of the post-op stuff and recovery and reading horror stories about those phases really didn't help. Now I'm just....scared. I'm not really sure what I'm scared of. I just suddenly feel more anxious than I have before. It's not this huge operation and my life is at risk and it's not really risky in general and I'll be ( Read more... )

Just kidding. I'm all anxious. Which I actually like a lot better than being just...angry and sad. At least anxiety can be relieved ( Read more... )

Physically, I feel kind of awesome. Even though I know if I look at the numbers, I'm still very far from awesome. My hemoglobin is still too low low and I'm still yellow/pale as fuck and I'm still on a diet of nonstop beef and clams and iron pills. But I everything is more stable now and they confirmed the surgery and now have a week left and at ( Read more... )

I can only remember 3.
Once I was dumped, the other time I had a STEM meet, and the most recent one was prom.

Today I thought I wasn't going to go on this years STEM trip, then thought I was, then thought I wasn't. Now I think I am. I went to the hematologist today. Who also happens to be my friends dad. It felt kind of weird giving him the whole ( Read more... )