I've come to a conclusion, these images are false. I have no remorse for falsified feelings. I keep telling myself that I'm in love, that this love will take me somewhere in the life I'm living. In reality this lie is holding me back. I want a life again, I want balance. I need to find a place that I belong so that I can finally move on. My last ( Read more... )

This begins again, the desire to express myself in words, when ever I think I'll try again I just feel that I'm being absurd. This summer I've come to accept that all of the things that I grew to cherish have moved on. It's a sad acceptance. I know that I'm not the only one that feels this way, and I will never claim to be. Redundancy is something ( Read more... )

I am silent in my chair as I sit and stare at a screen. I wish I knew what to do in the situations after the screen is black. We don't have to speak, but after the moving pictures stop the world becomes silent. What should I do? Sit and stare as the people around me begin to stir and a friendship is formed right before my eyes...I can't interject, ( Read more... )

Awww, remember when I used to write in you everyday livejournal? About what I did during my day, about things that I find trivial now...but now I realize that I have no other way to remember. I need to get my act together and start posting more frequently. Today, I hung out with Nick from about 1 to whenever I got home tonight. We thought we would ( Read more... )

It's funny, the little things you do to get me hooked on you. The way you've caused me pain is all the more amazing. It's not a feeling of resentment like jealously, it's more that I'm thinking..."should I be worried?" If this is the story, maybe this should end. I'm not going to pretend like I don't love you, it hurts to say...that maybe if this ( Read more... )

It isn't just the redundancy of this class that makes me cringe, it's more that I can spend my time writing about nothing as I've been doing since I learned I could write. It's not that I've given up on this English class, I think it's given up on me. I've developed a stutter, I never used to stutter, but I think it has to do when I'm tired, or ( Read more... )

It's been so long since I took in a breath to relieve the tension of the everyday strain. The weight of the air in my chest makes me believe that the heaviness in my heart is real. This heart this body...this mind, I'm far from divinity and I need some stability so please lend me some time. You read my words on the screen and on paper, my feelings ( Read more... )

My heart is beating to heavily for me to breathe, and yet I stand there gasping for air. I'm not nervous I'm just completely lost at every possible crossroad. Summer is here, but I've yet to feel it. I'm a bit isolated because of my location...but it shouldn't stop me, I know better. So far, this summer...I've become better acquainted with myself. ( Read more... )

Flashing lights are indicating signs to the end of the day. I rode my bike through the rain today and at the same time that I was drenched I thought, "What fun!" It was wet, but it reminded me of summer. Something that was very far back in my past, my 18th summer has arrived. The resounding echoes through these attic walls makes me think that all ( Read more... )

So, last night Avram and I went out to coffee, we never actually bought anything, but we sat and talked from 8:30 to 12 midnight. He's the epitome of sweetness, I can't let myself be enticed like before, but it seems like I can't help it. His honesty lit my ability to talk about everything and anything. We went on a short walk around uptown with ( Read more... )