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and so this is Christmas, (...) the road is so long
These are simply tumultous times. There are so many of my close friends that I haven't spoken to in literally forever, and I feel like a really bad friend. I miss Vincent, Marnie, and James. I miss Rachel but I'll get to have super quality time with her super soon, and I super like that ;) I miss everybody.
Perhaps I'll get out of my shell for ( Read more... ) -
can't stop what's comming, can't stop what is on its way
My aunt's death is imminent. I sense it. I feel the overwhelming grief. I was going to go over for another visit, only to be stopped by my mother calling me to say not to go to the hospital. She said that I would be traumatized further since she looks much worse than she did the last time I saw her, which was only two weeks ago. Plus, she said, she ( Read more... ) -
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I just wish I could stop crying and focus on other things than death. Like the classes I'm going to teach tomorrow....or today's family party....fuck. -
I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am
I thought November was going to be different this year. Instead of plunging into some kind of strange and bewildering mind space, I thought I was going to help others navigate theirs. I sure seemed that way for the past few weeks. My close ones are going through a generally terrible and exhausting time. Many turned to me for help which I offered ( Read more... ) -
random musings
fuck goddamn....just lost an entry ( Read more... ) -
pathos
I'm so pissed that I just want to destroy everything. Kick the shit out of anyone who stands in my way or annoys me. Yet I'm so numb, so removed from everything that I think I became someone else. Or an empty shell. As though my spirit fled to escape the shit I'm going through only to return once my life resumed to some kind of adequate normalcy. ( Read more... ) -
and this too shall pass...
I've been so tired lately that I have been needing long naps after school for that past two days. After my nap this afternoon, I woke up all groggy, and having dreamt of eating fallafels, I decided to go across the street to get some. I get out the door and take a few steps....and just fall, hard, on my knees. Embarrased and hurting I trek back ( Read more... ) -
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shit piss goddamn motherfuck ( Read more... ) -
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I can't believe it's October 10th already. That just makes no sense to me. It feels like last week was three weeks ago and that September 3rd was a week ago. My linear time perception is fuxed. >_< I feel like I am in a new world. Doing a B. Ed. is sooooo different than undergoing a bac. It's basically way easier but this time around, I feel like I ( Read more... ) -
Beneath the stars came falling on our heads, but they're just old light
These days have been a bit odd. I started the week in a panic. The stress of school building up and I was ready to crack. Plus with my cold (which is now gone...it was a small cold) I was not in shape to do lots of homework. The teachers are still very superflous with due dates and expectations which is really frustrating. It's like, I wanna do ( Read more... )