you know, i haven't been on this place in a long time, for for justifiable reasoning. i look back a year ago and realize every year, my life changes. I'm not sure if it's for the better or worse, but i figure it must be a little bit of both. I still feel these voids in my life. Like i'm missing something that matters. But i've found that the ( Read more... )

im toast. my body must really hate me for all the stress i put it through. My days are feeling endless. Work in the sun is just as bad as days in the cold, and the funny part is i tend to enjoy it. Im not here to boast of good things, or complain of bad things, just to let my mind unwind. I spent the weekend with the family, and with sam's ( Read more... )

Taking time to reflect, i have survived the worst of things. I have been lower than low and more miserable than most. I have wrongly accused and and been wrongly accused. so many things i have done, and so many of the same done to me. and something that i couldn't understand i do now. many things actually. To fool myself and others to think i ( Read more... )

so life is awesome, just great, almost perfect even. no not really, but it appears to be that way. I'm staying sober for the most part, not to say i'm a non drinker, but i've figured out the limitations i rest upon. Work is good, smile and dance around. Or close enough, i can smile with out worrying about judgement. I'm back to a healthy ( Read more... )

i don't know what to do with myself right now. im restless, lonely, inabled to concentrate... so many other things. I feel like i really do have no one anymore. And the time when i need it most. its fuuny, actually, i've been there for everyone, when they did or didn't need it. Whether it was sam and dan, or niki and tony, or someone needed a ( Read more... )

never have i been able to say the right things. maybe with all the pain, hurt, fear, all these emotions i can not control, something good can come out of this ( Read more... )

"This smell peculiar, this feeling familiar, this love undaunting, and this will haunting ( Read more... )

im at odds right now with myself. I have this migraine, and it seems to be this steady but surging pain, and i think it's been going for the past 24 hours. i didn't sleep last night. I have this paper that i keep blowing off, and i know i can make the time for it, but i keep blowing it off. I just don't want to write it. but that's not really ( Read more... )

i just had one of the scariest, life altering, idiotic day today. While applying permatex to a cozy collar on a roof today, i just realized how much i value my life and others who are a part of it. maybe i shouldn't take advantage so much of the fact that i couldn't always be around, one day im going to die... and it could've been today. I would ( Read more... )

i almost was tempted to thank my family... i have a lot of good things and bad things to say.... And i dont care about either of them. I'm not perfect and it'd only make me an ass to critisrze her, but my family loves her and so don't i. Like i really do. Nothing can change that and it's amazing... i want to be mad, but i cant be. Not mad at ( Read more... )